The one billion dollar B movie!

He was a man who really hated blank celluloid and made it his mission to cure that problem.

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And he would have been able to afford James Arness instead of his no-talent brother.

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James Arness was a giant of a man who would have downed those hoppers with one punch from his massive fists.

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“As a young boy, James Arness nurtured a howling bitterness in the face of the awesomely superior talent of his brother, Peter Graves.”

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Comes down to luck and hired talent, I suppose.

Either Robert Lippert would have financed some (more!) Sam Fuller classics, or he would have a twenty-four hour Rock Climbing extravaganza.

EDIT: You could even argue that Lippert wouldn’t have had Fuller direct those three movies if Lippert could afford to pay a director as well as a writer. They might have been worse movies!

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Technically it was W.C. Fields who did that. Tor had been working in movies for nearly twenty years before he joined the Ed Wood entourage.

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The question brewing in my mind is, who would actually have had the talent to make good with those billions?

Corman could, of course, if he wanted (The Masque of the Red Death, and The Intruder are proof of that).

I think Tom Graeff showed signs he actually had a clue with Teenagers from Outer Space. There were some nice camera angles (the scene where Derek is surrounded by curious children), plus he moved around to several locales, kept things hopping. With a budget he would have been able to afford a better monster, and a larger spaceship, etc. And he could have spent more time on multiple camera shots, staged a better shootout, and whatnot.

Would he have been able to turn Teenagers into a solid sci-fi winner with time and money? I don’t know, but at the least, I think he showed more potential than a Jerry Warren, for example.

Plus, he wanted to be called Jesus Christ II, so he was weird, which results in creativity.

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Thanks - I learned something today.

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many b movies will at some point in the movie illicit the observation, wait, what was it about this scene that required her being nude?

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I would argue that it is not the budget that makes a B movie as much as the quality of the writing. Look at Godzilla Minus One as an example of something that might be considered a B movie, but performs as a much better movie while the American Godzillas are much more expensive, but are more plotted as a B movie.

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Well, kind of. But if you want decent writing, it’s probably helpful to pay more than bus fare and a six-pack for it. :wink:

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Hemingway scrawled “For Sale: Baby Shoes; Never Worn” on a cocktail napkin to win a bar bet, and everyone thinks that’s genius.

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I’d rather watch golf on TV than read Hemingway, and I don’t even LIKE golf. :stuck_out_tongue:

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Kenny Rogers is a good cop !
Kenny Rogers Drinking GIF

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What would the final product look like?

While some of the works of Irwin Allen could possibly fit the bill, I would humbly present the masterpiece that is Mars Attacks!.

There is no doubt that the movie had a full Hollywood studio budget, cast and crew but it is unapologetically a B movie at it’s heart and execution, and was a homage to some of the classic drive in classics.

It is reported that as it was planned to come out in December, Tim Burton had all the raygun victims skeletons tinted red and green cause… you know… Christmas. But I heard a while back that the movie was under budget and ready to ship when he requested the colors, and only went over budget for the sake of the bit.

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I have never seen Six Pack, but I did hear a truly underwhelming “New Country” :roll_eyes: cover of The Gambler a few months back and the YouTube peanut gallery was carrying on like it was pure magic. (It was pure something, all right. Feh. Do not turn your crank to it.)

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No, I’m not a big fan of the New Country movement…except Lil Naz X, he’s kind of fun.

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If you’ll excuse my archaic phrasing, Nas could cut those other guys with one eye closed.

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He’d cut’em so low, they’d sit on the ground and their feet would dangle !

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Still better than anything you will write.

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