The One Ring

I’m not walking to DOOM.

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Taking the ring to Mount Doom with Old Timer Billy Slater.

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You walk to it. I’m bitter.

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“Do the fires of Mt. Doom burn hotter than the heavenly flame? No? I will destroy the ring.”

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He’ll destroy it and forge a Sampo. Double flex!

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“The One Ring must be taken to Mount Doom and destroyed befo-”

“Did you get some crackers?”

“…”

“I told you yesterday that we needed some crackers.”

“…”

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Who can take the One Ring to the Mountain of Doom if not the international organization known as Mighty Jack?

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We’re missing the easiest and most direct solution to the problem.

Some rando: “Boy, I sure hate rings. I wish that I’d never have to see another ring as long as I live.”

Ringy the ring sprite: “NOOOOOOOOOO RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS!” [whistle sound]

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Sauron: “Gee, Ringy. I didn’t realize what I was doing. I’m sorry for everything I said. Can’t the Nazgul just call the whole thing off?”

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[prepares for a 35-minute coda on the wonders of rings]

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Y’all know that Mitchell would try to attach the ring to the Yellow Thing™.

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I would go with Ator. He could always get out his hang glider too, if necessary!

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Wait, this guy has some experiences with rings…

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and he sat on a toffit

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Maybe we can get Ohman to hypnotize someone into destroying the ring.

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Why study Industrial Arts? So you can destroy the One Ring!

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The piercing scream of a Nazgul.

Wait, that actually works.

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There’s lots of things Nick and Kay could do on a date- a bike ride, a rummage sale, a weenie roast, walking to Mordor and throwing the ring into the volcano at the top of Mount Doom…

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It helps to have a date to
Collaborate Lord Of The Rings GIF

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We really need a fellowship to take care of the One Ring. May I suggest The Band That Played California Lady?

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