…my wife and son who apparently believe these refill themselves overnight through some mystical process I can’t begin to understand…
6 Likes
In their defense, the red one is not yet ready to be refilled.
4 Likes
…my sister who put half a gallon of sour milk back in the fridge even after she ruined a whole bowl of her breakfast cereal with it 
6 Likes
Hey, they already filled the trays up one-third of the way with the O, now all you have to do is add the H2.
6 Likes
…my cat who has decided that if he’s gonna hork up his dinner he needs to do it as high up off the floor as he can get…
1 Like
The real monster is the person who thinks Frankenstein was the name of the creature.
7 Likes
Yogurt-In-Waiting.
Just throw in some sliced fruit and wait another week.
(This was part of a parody how-to early in my college student life. They also recommended saving burnt hamburger patties to steady a table if it wobbled.)
3 Likes
That was his last name. His first name was Carl.
4 Likes
The real monsters were the my wife and son who apparently believe these refill themselves overnight through some mystical process I can’t begin to understand we met along the way. 
Also, why are you keeping Crow T. Robot eyeballs in there?
3 Likes
People who try editing out my Oxford commas and two-spacing after each sentence.
5 Likes
Two-spacing after periods is good, it improves readability, and I’ll keep saying that until they come for me.
4 Likes
…in Demon Squad.
3 Likes
Same. If someone tells me not to use two-spacing, I ignore them and add them to the list of people I’m going to force to read everything as raw text.
2 Likes
As long as we’re getting grammatical…
People who use the grocer’s apostrophe.
3 Likes
If you use any sort of computer word processor, it automatically edits out the second space these days.
2 Likes
So I take it the ice cubes from the red tray are for drinks that wake you up while the ice cubes from the blue tray are for drinks that make you want to blissfully ignore the real world?
5 Likes
Speaking of The Matrix, what happens when you take both the red and blue pill at the same time?
3 Likes
A bunch of lazy, unimaginative trolls have a snit and log off for a month.
6 Likes
One of the pills you don’t have to take at all. You can just walk out the door.
3 Likes