…my wife and son who apparently believe these refill themselves overnight through some mystical process I can’t begin to understand…
In their defense, the red one is not yet ready to be refilled.
…my sister who put half a gallon of sour milk back in the fridge even after she ruined a whole bowl of her breakfast cereal with it
Hey, they already filled the trays up one-third of the way with the O, now all you have to do is add the H2.
See, @Rifftilicus gets it.
…my cat who has decided that if he’s gonna hork up his dinner he needs to do it as high up off the floor as he can get…
The real monster is the person who thinks Frankenstein was the name of the creature.
Just throw in some sliced fruit and wait another week.
(This was part of a parody how-to early in my college student life. They also recommended saving burnt hamburger patties to steady a table if it wobbled.)
That was his last name. His first name was Carl.
The real monsters were the my wife and son who apparently believe these refill themselves overnight through some mystical process I can’t begin to understand we met along the way.
Also, why are you keeping Crow T. Robot eyeballs in there?
People who try editing out my Oxford commas and two-spacing after each sentence.
Two-spacing after periods is good, it improves readability, and I’ll keep saying that until they come for me.
…in Demon Squad.
Same. If someone tells me not to use two-spacing, I ignore them and add them to the list of people I’m going to force to read everything as raw text.
As long as we’re getting grammatical…
People who use the grocer’s apostrophe.
If you use any sort of computer word processor, it automatically edits out the second space these days.
So I take it the ice cubes from the red tray are for drinks that wake you up while the ice cubes from the blue tray are for drinks that make you want to blissfully ignore the real world?
Speaking of The Matrix, what happens when you take both the red and blue pill at the same time?
A bunch of lazy, unimaginative trolls have a snit and log off for a month.
One of the pills you don’t have to take at all. You can just walk out the door.