Our Head of State is called “The Lawgiver”.
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The Jet Jaguar song opens every televised sporting event, in lieu of a national anthem.
(That being the Love Theme, of course.)
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July 20, 1969:
“That’s one small step for an evil genius, one giant leap for Gizmonics!”
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The highest award in the land will be “the cool thing” (Mexican stoplight candy).
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Circle Pines, our nation’s capital. 
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We will have a nation-wide deep hurting alert system to inform all citizens of any incoming sandstorms.
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Our capital will be Crystal Vista!
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TWO capitals? Just how big is this republic?!
Maybe one for summer and one for winter?
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Taylor Swift breaks all records for number of weeks at Billboard’s Number One for her rendition of “Yipes, Stripes.”
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We’re gonna have to fix up the old Hamdinger factory
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Please rise for the Pledge of Allegiance:
You know, Captain, every year of my life I grow more and more convinced that the wisest and the best is to fix our attention on the good and the beautiful. If you just take the time to look at it.
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The Constitution contains this clause:
He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature- and because of it, the greatest in the universe. He learned too late for himself that men have to find their own way, to make their own mistakes. There can’t be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. And when men seek such perfection, they find only death… fire… loss… disillusionment… the end of everything that’s gone forward. Men have always sought an end to the toil and misery, but it can’t be given, it has to be achieved. There is hope, but it has to come from inside, from Man himself.
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I was about to use that quote myself, but wasn’t quite sure how to do it. Very well done, Vader, very well done indeed.
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At the World Series opening game:
“Please rise for the singing of our National Anthem, performed by our very special guest, the Spirit of Music!”
Know you father I did
By the dawn’s early light . . .
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We’re the biggest exporter of SPACOM in the world
Old world charm combines with modern industry and so we manufacture record player/receiver combo units en masse to compete with our bitter rivals Progress Island
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Pancakes. Oh, I blew it.
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I assume our currency is Sampo-based.
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Redacted voluntarily for being too close to real world situations.
Carry on.
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The Air Force is entirely made up of F-104 Starfighters
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Our nation’s top scientific, military and security advisors will all be Japanese school boys, at least 40% of whom insist on wearing too-short shorts.
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