The Starfighters

wat…

even…

IS this movie?

Oh my god this is the most surreal pile of weird. Help me out here people.

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You see, when one plane loves another plane very much, they engage in a special type of hug. They call it aerial refueling, and it is how baby planes are made.

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:musical_note: daaaaaaaaaaaaa da da da :musical_note:
:musical_note: daaaaaaaaaaaaa da da da DA :musical_note:

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It is pretty much a recruiting/ PR video made by Hollywood instead of the Air Force. I imagine a lot of the production costs were covered in various ways by the Pentagon. If you think about it that way, the fact that there [is] “plot” of the film is pure Hollywood magic. And yeah, it really isn’t so much a plot as a jeans commercial, a bedtime story, or maybe a sea cucumber’s meal log.

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I thought it was an extended advert for Poopie Suits. I mean, it’s what got me wearing them.

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If you aren’t getting into this movie, maybe you need another activity. Might I suggest corn de-tassling?

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There are much better movies that can now be watched on the Information Super Highway. In the future!

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I’m trying to watch them, but I keep getting this message: LOOKING FOR UART @ FX105.

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It’s the movie equivalent of the Young Man’s Fancy short. Cameras were present, people move around and say things, and at some point there may have been a script involved. Beyond that it’s anyone’s guess. It might be more coherent if it featured more electric razors and water heaters.

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Oh, it had a script. I really can’t imagine ad libbing that vicuna drool!

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This is one of the few episodes that threatened to put me completely to sleep while watching it; not even the riffing saved it for me. People who say Manos is boring have clearly never watched The Starfighters; at least you get some kind of payoff in Manos, even if it takes forever to get there. Starfighters just kind of… fizzles out.

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Oh come on, not only is Starfighters a hilarious episode, but it’s packed with action, drama, romance and comedy.

There are thrilling scenes of planes taking off and refueling and landing and refueling and bombing rectangles and refueling…

There are scintillating conversations about corn, the tense ‘will he, or will he not poop in his suit’ scene, father son conflicts, refueling, a guy who crashes his plane and has to eat a lizard and drink his own urine, various phone calls, refueling, sizzling make out sessions, refueling, all that, and “The Wife”!

And this is boring? Pish posh.

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Yeah, but what’s with all the excessive banter about corn detasseling?

I know that’s a real thing, but it’s also thing I’d expect to be featured in a strip club.

“Don’t touch my dad’s corn detasseler: he goes ballistic!”

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Don’t forget the S.O.P.!

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I would so love to play a game of “Boogers” with Crow.

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You know, I kina wondered what that was, but I’m not sure I ever really wanted to know.

I found it!

(There’s even a Crow shout-out in the comments!)

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It’s my kryptonite. Puts me to sleep every time.

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The Starfighters, The Skydivers, The Castle of Fu Manchu. Put that on and get a good 6 hours of sleep.

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See Also: Invasion USA. Starfighters may not have had real actors like Invasion USA, but you get the feeling that at least it shot its own stock footage!

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