Who wants to play a game?
Let’s think up the ultimate Riffable movie, then cast it as a group with the actors we’ve known and loathed.
For plot… I submit the basic Secret Cabal Plans on Ending the World and The Hero/Idiot Stumbles into the Plot.
Anyone wanna chime in on an inciting incident?
Cabal’s front is the coffee shop where the hero gets his morning coffee, and they screw up his order.*
I just realized they did that in Sudden Impact.
I think Jeff Goldblum needs to be the blasé mastermind villain who’s vaguely ridiculous. And he’s actually Hero’s boss
Oh, this is riff gold, people!
Okay, so they screw their coffee order up and this sends our protagonist down the rabbit hole.
Let’s have it all shot in bland office settings? Saves money and increases the terrible!
And if Goldblum is our bland villain slash office boss… Who is our protagonist? And our protagonist feels like they need a sidekick. Someone they make fun of and condescend to a bunch.
Harvey Guillen is my vote for the side kick. Yes he’s a bit ridiculous and gets made fun of but actually the protag appreciates him for his emotional resilience and vast library of unconventional skills that seem useless but end up being very important to the plot, such as building ships in bottles or having an encyclopedic knowledge of 17th century typeface
YESSS. Hey isn’t he in What We Do in the Shadows on Hulu/FX?
Yes. I’ve never watched it, only seen a couple clips, so my read on him is exclusively based on vibes 
Your read on him is fully correct lol. He’d be perfect.