The Worst Christmas Song (Mark II)

Giving it another try. Vote for additional songs in the comments.

  • Last Christmas
  • Having a Wonderful Christmas Time
  • Sleigh Ride
  • Happy X-Mas (War is Over)
  • All I Want For Christmas (Is You) - Mariah Carey
  • Billy’s Christmas Wish
  • This Christmas
  • Frosty the Snowman
  • Do They Know Its Christmas
  • Santa Claus Is Coming to Town - Bruce Springsteen
  • All I Want for Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth)

0 voters

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Additional comments at The Worst Christmas Song

@MonkeyPretzel This is the first time I’ve heard Billy’s Christmas Wish. That may be the most miserable Christmas music experience I’ve ever had. Merry Christmas, indeed.

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Jeez, I’d forgotten all about Brucie’s butchering of what’s otherwise a pretty innocuous ditty. So, thanks… I think. :wink:

(Sleigh Ride is still awful, though.)

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Entirely for the potentially “rapey” subtext going on here. I know it isn’t the songs intention, but every time I hear it I do cringe a bit.

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I like three of the songs on that list… including, incredibly, the Mariah Carey one. It’s literally the only song of hers I like, because it reminds me of a 60’s girl group tune. This does not include the one with Bieber. (I also like Sleigh Ride and Do They Know It’s Christmas.)

I gave a pass to ones I hate because they’re overplayed and not because they’re terribly bad songs… which is why I didn’t vote for the Lennon.

I voted for the Spike Jones one. Really awful.

Dishonorable mention to Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer, which has the distinction of being both bad and overplayed.

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The Mariah Carey one has been horribly overplayed, everywhere you go. When it first came out, it was a refreshingly old-school Christmas pop song.

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That really, really isn’t what the song is about. The woman in the song wants to stay, but she’s worried about her image and propriety, which used to be a thing. That’s the only thing going on.

You can see this in my favorite version of the song, done by Sigourney Weaver and David Johansen on Saturday Night Live.

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You missed the worst, most manipulative, saccharine, annoying and irritatingly sappy Christmas song ever written.

Christmas Shoes.

It is so obviously trying to make you think it’s sweet, I hate it with a deep burning passion. I can’t figure out why my reaction is so vehement, but I absolutely hate it.

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I voted for the Mariah Carey one for a personal reason. When the song came out, I was working at a video arcade and we had a tape loop that played on overhead TVs that would last a month. Unfortunately that tape was 1 hour long. And even if I didn’t watch it, which I usually didn’t, I had to hear it. In December, one of the things on the tape loop was the video for All I Want For Christmas Is You.

I had to listen to that song once an hour for what I just calculated was a total of 6 2/3 days. And I didn’t really like it to begin with.

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Yes! There’s no subtext at all and quite frankly, it shocked me that people decided that was the message of the song. It boggles my mind.

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The “say, what’s in this drink” line is the line I think a lot of people have a problem with. It’s implying he might be drugging her.

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I understand your point, but that used to mean “how strong is this drink?”
It helps to hear the lyrics in the context of the 1940s, which a lot of people today are unable or unwilling to do.
It’s only in people’s more twisted minds today that it means that it’s drugged.

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That’s the one I voted for - “Wonderful Christmastime”. Vacuous and terrible.

Paul wrote some excellent songs, but if you want to see a takedown of Paul at his most empty-headed, there’s a scene in the Rutles movie where the Paul-type character in the Rutles (played by Eric Idle) is composing a song at the piano, with Bianca Jagger as his wife. It’s a great scene.

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Yeah, that’s part of it. Also just the message in general that if your partner’s uncomfortable with something you should just keep wearing on them until they give in.

I think the first time I heard this song was on The Muppet Show, where Miss Piggy is singing it to Rudolph Nureyev. So I guess the message there was that if an “ugly” woman hits on a handsome man, he’ll understandably do anything to get away. [sigh] Getting old and cynical about life ruins everything.

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“Do They Know It’s Christmas?” has to be the worst. The lyrics are so ethnocentric and ignorant. It has such a “We must convert the heathen savages” vibe.

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Baby It’s Cold Outside isn’t really a Christmas song anyway. It’s just that every song about snow, cold, etc. gets shanghaied as a holiday song. That, Winter Wonderland, Frosty the Snowman, Jingle Bells, I’ve Got My Love To Keep Me Warm, O Tannenbaum…

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Brace yourselves for the worst Canadian reggae until Informer by Snow.

Exactly. Yet, songs about summer don’t automatically get connected to a holiday. It doesn’t seem right somehow.

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