Video Game Adaptations

What about a Sims-type version of Overdrawn at the Memory Bank, where the player builds their own little virtual reality?

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That could be neat for in-game rewards where you could scroll up cinemas!

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Catalina Caper as a Sierra era graphical adventure game can have my money.

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A Catalina Caper game with a Sierra flavor would be AMAZING.

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My favorite computer games at one point where the You Don’t Know Jack games, especially the spinoff side games with one focused on Movies and another focused on Television.

Personally? I’d love to see a You Don’t Know Jack game with an MST3K focus.

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It’d basically be The Sims crossed with one of those zoo theme park managers. But when you start the game, you only have enough credits for a mangy old baboon or an anteater. (And due to a software glitch, choosing the anteater immediately crashes the game)

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A Future War game would basically just be Turok, but every other level would involve having to fight some guy with a huge misshapen head in an empty cardboard box factory. (Though on the N64, Robert Z’Dar’s face would look almost normal)

Oh and instead of a health bar, the game works like Ghosts and Goblins, where if you get punched once, your shirt and armor immediately come flying off for no rationally explainable reason.

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As long as you don’t have to be an anteater.

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I assume you get to use the cardboard boxes as weapons.

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The Magic Sword would basically just be a cheap hack of Dragon’s Lair with Estelle Winwood pasted in. They wouldn’t even have to change the main graphics.

Santa Claus would be like a version of Scribblenauts, where you don’t actually control Santa, you play as Merlin who has to tell him what toys to pull out of his bag to overcome various obstacles Pitch has left in his path. (Though every time you use one, that’s one less kid on Earth who gets a present that year.)

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Don’t play the The Girl in Lover’s Lane dating sim. Trust me.

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Diabolik would actually make for a pretty cool stealth game. Sort of a brightly colored version of Thief crossed with Goldeneye. Though in a somewhat unpopular feature, the more money you steal in each stage the less of your girlfriend’s ass you get to see in the between-levels cut scenes.

Red Zone Cuba would be one of those ultra cheap and lazy $2 Steam rip-off games that claims to be a cutting edge combat simulator but is a buggy unplayable mess of stolen Unity assets and the “levels” are just flat empty terrain with no enemies or interactable objects and you just wander around aimlessly until the game glitches out or you fall off the edge of the map.

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That would be awesome! I loved those games as a kid.

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Wild World of Batwoman would be one of those badly translated Japanese ROM hacks that’s technically in English, but you have no idea what’s going on, how to play it, though it appears to be part RPG, part dating simulator, and part Dance Dance Revolution.

The Starfighters, on the other hand, would just be a version of Microsoft Flight Simulator, but it never makes it past the initial loading screen.

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The Mitchell game would be like LA Noire, but instead of “Truth,” “Doubt” and “Lie” options (or “Good Cop,” “Bad Cop” and “Accuse” in the remastered edition), your choices would always be “Mitchell,” “Mitchell,” and “Mitchell.”

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Riding With Death: The Game is a driving simulator where you have to transport Dr. Hale and his Tripoline to the patent office on time (though it somehow takes several days to complete this 40 mile trip). Obstacles include “Boards on the road” and “Randomly treacherous mechanics”.

Along the way you can take on sidequests like “Rescue Buffalo Bill and his Pet Rocks” and “Clean Driscoll’s filthy glasses”.

Sam Casey’s health bar is measured from “Mellow” to “Harshed Buzz”.

The ending depends on how strong that health bar is. The best possible ending is where you discover Dr. Hale’s true nature and also find The Elusive Robert Denby.

(And somehow, Abby watches all this in her Magic Monitor that can edit and add music on the fly)

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The Rebel Set would play something like a reverse Katamari Damacy, where after robbing an armored car, you have 3 minutes to roll up as much incriminating evidence as possible and stick it in the hole.

Swamp Diamonds is just Jungle Hunt but you only get to jump over one crocodile and spend the rest of the game tied to a tree.

Radar Secret Service is a match 3 game, but incredibly tricky because instead of brightly colored jewels or cards, you’re stuck trying to match identical drab white guys in hats.

The Sinister Urge is one of those resource management games like Adventure Capitalist only instead of a lemonade stand, the goal is to build up a successful smutty picture racket.

And This Island Earth is a virtual Interociter assembly simulator, where you have to assemble 2486 parts in order, and when you’re done, Exeter shows up, congratulates you, then destroys your work.

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Press X to “Dad?”

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Prince of Space: The Game is a fighting game where you just simply stand and say “Your weapons have no effect on me!” while your opponents shoot anyway (You can press A to duck, just in case they still scare the crap out of you).

You win after you tell your opponent “Leave now!” and “You’re not welcome here!” until they get the message.

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Could we make it an Interocerter assembly manager game? You don’t assemble it, you give the scientists input like “slow down,” “work harder,” “take a coffee break,”

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