First: I’ve never seen the musical.
I am now about three songs into this movie and nothing prepared me for this.
I
It’s like
The camera never stops moving and their faces aren’t really attached to their bodies and I can’t understand what anyone is saying and I feel dizzy and giddy and this is so much fun OH MY GOD I need to see this in a theater
I keep realizing that my mouth is hanging open
Your bravery is applauded, sir.
It’s already too late for my mom and my sister a few years back. And to this day, I’m so glad that I didn’t get to go see it.
My wife made me stop it so she can watch it with me tomorrow because I kept calling her in to see what I was seeing and I’m still laughing.
I don’t know about the whole thing, but the first half hour is maybe the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.
I thought I had some idea what it would be like, but you cannot possibly prepare yourself for seeing it on a large screen.
Me too. I’m in the Cats (2019) Witness Protection Program. I intend on avoiding it for life. I know what it is without having to suffer through it. Tom Hopper is so distinctive a director and the trailers so on point along with the reviews my imagination of the horror is good enough. For now.
I swear to you, it’s so much more than any review can capture.
I listened to the Flophouse episode on Cats and thought I had a handle on things and I was so, so wrong.
I’m just gonna wait until Rifftrax and, yes, I did vote for it on the Patreon poll.
Hey! I just noticed that your username misspells “cat” TWICE!! 
A Talking Joe Don Baker?!
I do suggest everyone try to watch the 1998 filmed version of the actual musical so you can see how bizarre the actual musical is.
Full disclosure, I’m a huge fan of the musical, but the movie somehow makes the weird stuff worse.
I used to see this commercial ALL THE TIME while watching thundercats back in the day. I’m not a musical person, so I never saw it either.
I’m eagerly awaiting the next part of your review. 
The commercials for Cats (the OG musical, not the movie) on this local New York station were SO SCARY.
They frightened the hell out of a much younger me and I wanted nothing to do with that show.
I saw the actual musical, in the actual Winter Garden Theater on the actual Broadway. It was very enjoyable.
I used to be a very big Andrew Lloyd Webber fan. Bought every album of his stuff I could find. And holy hell, did I avoid this movie like the plague.
that would be it! why where cats on a spaceship thing?
Grizabella, having proven herself worthy, was being transported up to the Heaviside Layer.
You would have to ask T.S. Eliot what that means, but it seemed to be something good.
My parents took me to see the musical in the Winter Garden Theater when I was a kid, and I fell asleep. I have no memory of it. Mom told me I didn’t miss much.
I tried watching the movie, and had to stop halfway through for RL stuff and just never got back to it. But… I just kept waiting for the plot to start because everything I’d seen was just one cat after another introducing themselves with a song. One cat will introduce himself and sing a song about who he is and what he does. And then they’ll run into another cat, who will introduce herself and sing a song about who she is and what she does. And none of them will interact with each other for any significant time. And then another cat will introduce himself… But apparently that’s all there actually is to the entire show? Apparently they’re all just gathering for the Ball and it’s a big deal because the winner gets to ascend. But the Ball starts halfway through the show and it’s not even clear that it has started. Fans just sort of semi-arbitrarily set a point where they think the Ball starts, in retrospect. But it just keeps going with more introductions and nothing happens until the one guy does ascend and the show’s over. And they don’t even really explain what ascention is or how it works. I think I watched enough of it.
That said, if you have Disney+, they released a movie this weekend about the Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers. It’s designed to appeal to the Gen Xers who grew up watching the show on Disney Afternoon and never stopped watching cartoons. Which seems like a fairly narrow audience, honestly? Anyway, it’s stupid, but it’s self-aware about that and just leans into it. And makes fun of Hollywood along the way. It’s kind of a very lazy Roger Rabbit remake. But enjoyable if you just need to turn your brain off for a couple of hours, you know? Anyway, it parodies a lot of other properties along the way, and the Cats from the movie make a very brief but very well-placed appearance.
ETA: I almost forgot the best thing to come out of the whole movie! From an article in Variety:
Eliot’s original text can be found at:
Note that there is no actual plot. It’s a collection. What plot there is in the musical comes from Webber himself.
