If I could re-dub Manos and fix some foley things it would be better. The voices would be less annoying. Honestly that would be a 30% improvement right there. I’d cut the scenes with the teenagers in the car. A simple obscured Dead End sign is all that was needed in the film. Being pulled over doesn’t add to the storyline. Compress the driving passed fields. I’d say that improves the movie 40%.
If I could remake it I’d make it clearer that they’re at the gates of Hell. Torgo would resemble a hooved beast more. The Master would have three dogs to represent Cerebus. The wives would be in a more hellish environment. I’d make the grounds a wasteland. (If you saw Vincent Price’s House of Usher you’d get an idea of the landscape.) I’d change what happens to the child. At dawn she finds herself alone where the house once was. It’s less wrong.
MST3K never did Plan 9 but that could be made good. I mean, not with what’s there, but as a premise. Do it up like “The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street,” with a kind of paranoiac feel, then you bring out the actual monsters, then you do an alien plot reveal.
Then some meathead punches the aliens in the face and saves the day!
(We can workshop that last part.)
Were Charles B. Pierce not in front of the camera in Boggy Creek II: The Legend Continues (1985) or narrating, the movie could be significantly better. Hiring a competent lead actor and grabbing Pierce’s narrator from The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972) and The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976) Vern Stierman probably would’ve improved the movie’s quality.
I do think somehow, Making Contact could actually be good. Instead of the whole ‘kid develops psychic powers’ thing, lean into horror outright and imply the kids who wanted to kidnap the protagonist were being hypnotized or otherwise manipulated by the puppet. Have all the psychic stuff be clearly the puppet’s fault.
And remove that robot that really didn’t do much.
You can.
Well, what if we splice two movies together? Delta Knights of the Lost Kingdom could be fun. Or mashup Girl in Gold Boots with Touch of Satan and you’ve got a story of a young woman who uses witchcraft to further her dancing career. It would explain both the haunted house venue and the diner apparition scene.
That would be easier if the moves shared actors. Now we just gotta find two suitable fodders.
Which one of the satan house dwellers do you suppose used to have a beautiful mind?
CGI the massive foreheads off the aliens in This Island Earth, and it would be much more of a plot twist to find out they’re not earthlings.
Hm… I dunno. Hollywood already tried to redo The Clonus Horror.
Seeing that as a big budget film was surreal.
What was really surreal is the Clonus guy sued and won!
Same thing happened with a film school professor and Weekend At Bernie’s.
I remember when that came out. I thought it seemed uncommonly like Clonus. Was it any good?
Well they didn’t blow up any old people, so…
So… is that good or bad? 
As far as Delta Knights go, secret societies questing for ancient secrets in Rennaissance Italy worked for Assassin’s Creed II, so it clearly can be made to work. The first big step would be making it clear it’s happening in Rennaissance Italy instead of Ye Generyc Olden Tyme. Ditch the Viking helmets and the tree forts, throw in more real-world references and you’ve got an enormous improvement right there.
Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I don’t have the skills or technology. It would be a blast to have such a project. I’d need people willing to do voices for only warm fuzzies.
They already made it. It was called Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
If you made it so that it was never clear whether or not Tom Stewart was actually being haunted or if it was all in his mind, it would be a pretty decent movie.
I’m mildly faceblind, so for me it works if the movie shares a color palette. Mash up that Harvest Gold and we’re good to go, baby!
You’ve got a point, and light, judicious editing could do it.