What would you do with a billion dollars and a banker's salary?

According to the Arch Hall Jr. song, he’d spend it all on flowers to give to Valerie.

First off, does Valerie have room for a billion dollars worth of flowers? Second, maybe she’d like you to mix it up, perhaps she’d enjoy something else, like a nice Cobb salad?

So I ask you, the viewers at home, what would you do with your billions and your banker’s salary?

And/or, are there other in-movie songs that were covered on MST, that had lyrics you’d like to address?

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I’d buy a house with enough room for a library and I’d build an observatory in my backyard. I’d stop worrying about getting a permanent full-time job and just teach occasional classes. Then, I’d save most of it and become a solar eclipse chaser.

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I’d buy a billion KitKat bars from the vending machine. I’d pay to have the vending machine resuppliers keep coming in real time with my banker’s salary and just keep putting quarters in the machine.

Then I’d eat the KitKats.

None for Valerie. She can buy her own KitKats.

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For one thing, if I had a billion dollar I’d quit my day job. Then I’d go live in a cabin in the woods far from the madding crowd (but not the cabin in the woods, from the movie, Cabin in the Woods)

Then I’d hire the cast of MST, all the classic talents, to put on a live show.

I’d buy Valerie a bouquet of flowers and maybe a dune buggy (with water filled tires), and a nice Cobb salad. But that’s it.

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I would travel around the world, but I’d take 5-10 years to do it, staying long enough in each place to get to know it well.

I’d also leave really big tips to service workers.

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“Hello, Elon? @RRRob, here. I’d like to charter a weekend jaunt whenever you can fit it into the launch schedule.

“So how’re things going down there in Boca Chica? Really? Glad to hear it, though you’d better keep an eye on the weather in the Gulf. Want to give me the tour and discuss things over drinks next week? Once you’ve got this Starship thing working, you’re going to LOVE this idea OF mine for a SATELLITE, no, space station to launch…”

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If you had a billion dollars would you really care about a Bankers salary? I’d probably donate that honestly. Not to anything too charitable of course, maybe I’d fund the the 30th Anniversary Celebration and Triumphant Return of the Unhappy Meal in 2023.

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Not sure what I’d do with a billion dollars though but, I can say that it would not be holding down a regular full time job.

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Some trivia: In an interview, Arch said he co-wrote the tune with his father - and that Valerie was the name of his aunt’s daughter.

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Maybe the California Lady could use a little dosh.

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Finance the gizmoplex for life :grin:

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A billion dollars is a huge amount of money to wrap my head around. With that, I could probably buy two of the latest iPhones, an oil change for two or three cars, and a half dozen Venti drinks at Starbucks. The mind boggles at the possibilities.

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We’d like you to buy your next ten cars from us.

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TEN CARS?!?!?

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How much would I need to invest so that the earnings would keep the Gizmoplex up & running indefinitely?

I’d use some of the rest to buy the naming rights to the college football bowl game with the dumbest sponsor name and change it back to just “Sugar Bowl” or “Peach Bowl” or whatever it used to be.

I’ll figure out what to do with the rest.

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Could you save a bit to rename the second-least important college football bowl game to the “Salad Bowl,” and the least important to the “Cereal Bowl”?

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Let’s just say that MST3K would find a way to continue in perpetuity.

As per The Beatniks: “Sideburns don’t need your sympathy.”

To which I say: … huh?!

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And the teams with the worst record get to compete in the Toilet Bowl!

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::rimshot::

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I’m concerned with what a billion dollars of flower purchases would do for the industry. Can it absorb a billion dollars worth of flower purchases?

If Arch Hall, Jr. got this billion dollars on Mother’s Day would that mean the rest of us would have to pay thousands of dollars just to buy a single bouquet for our mommas? What a jerk!

If Julie and Rick have been together for any amount of time, doesn’t each of them have a responsibility to communicated their dissatisfaction with the relationship?

I wanna decide who lives and who dies.

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