Which invention exchange would you actually like to have?

Oh! I’d forgotten about that one…

That too.

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Snaction.

Because … well, you know.

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Back in the day there was a thing called Monster Bubble, sort of a handled hula hoop that you could dip in a vat (major investment in bubble soap) and make a huge bubble. There was an attachment that turned it into Million Bubbles, like Jonah’s fan.

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I want a Woodscrew Tapeworm. And an Aunt Catherine Wheel, just so I can tell folks what it is.

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Has anyone mentioned Johnny Longtorso? I’d love to have one of those!..in pieces!

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I was friends once with a rich kid who had three fully complete JL’s. Well, he was rich before his parents spent the family fortune on his fleeting elementary school popularity. Now he’s a short order cook in Piscataway, waiting for the JL market to rebound. Then he’ll be sitting pretty.

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If I had a Vend-a-Gut and a gazillion quarters, I wouldn’t ever have to worry about organ failure.

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I’d love to have a Junk Drawer Organizer!

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I really need a William Conrad Fridge Alert for reasons that are too complicated to go into.

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I assume that it’s similar to my reasons for wanting to know if Steve Allen thought of my ideas first.

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The gutter bumper shoot!!
image


Guess it’s a real thing

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Your house is haunted by William Conrad?

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I would LOVE to have the Public Domain Karaoke Machine for all the snappy parties I give. Nothing brings a crowd together like watching a drunkard sing/speak a gargled rendition of
“Tea For Two.”

TAKE THAT royalty-free songwriting duo of Irving Caesar & Vincent Youmans!

HA! U been dead so long!

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Speaking of royalties, if anybody sees that good-for-nothing great-great-nephew of mine -

HE OWES ME BIG TIME.

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I may have already said too much!

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My daughter is a drummer. Maybe she could use a BGC19.

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Man, that reminds me of when I was little, they actually had these little robot figures that came in pieces just like Johnny Longtorso, except that they sold the pieces out of those quarter-operated gatcha machines they put outside grocery stores and laundromats.

Huge ripoff, but of course it appealed to me and my brother, who always begged for a try at the machine when we went grocery shopping. Never got close to a complete set before they changed the prize selection to something else.

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I think I could find a franchisee for those Unhappy Meals

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I’m going to say that with some slight tweaking, there’s a market for the Ren Fest punching bags. Start there, but then move into other specific people that it would be fun to take out frustration on. Maybe certain politicians, or…

Take that, you community theatre reject!

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I will always go with the Bittersweet Hearts. That is something That I really can’t believe has already been in stores all this time.

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