Worst Biker!

We’ve seen many a biker in Mst3K lore. From Banjo to Rommel to the kids in City Limits. Who’s your worst, most pathetic biker, and why? My vote goes to Frankie in The Skydivers. Okay, I know, he only rode a bike to the airport once. But, he still qualifies. He’s so whipped by Suzy even when she’s (ahem) exchanging sex for sundries!

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Sorry, but I don’t see bikers.

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Maybe you should start.

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:boom:

What was that :interrobang:

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To get back to the topic at hand, I’d say the Paper Chase Guy. Sure, it’s the bike itself that’s the most annoying, but he’s the one who chose to ride it.

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I watched Warrior of the Lost World the other day, and I’m utterly mystified by the scene where Paper Chase Guy is looking over his shoulder while biking about 100 miles straight ahead into the side of a mountain.

It seemed very avoidable, is what I’m saying.

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The one some baby oil freak killed after Andy Kaufman.

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Honorable mention to the guy who gets wiped out while riding around in the dark in the opening act of The Giant Spider Invasion and ends up getting buried by Johnny Crappleseed.

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Any of the guys that ride the side hack. They could be real bikers, but chose to be passengers instead.

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Um, Mikey?

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By their own admission, the duo in Girl In Gold Boots. Back to law school with 'em, pronto!

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Correct answer!

Acquired a bicycle. Perjured himself. Ran into a bobwire fence.

I think there’s something from bible times about that, like he should have an arm cut off and deliver ten goats to his brother or something.

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Ross Hagen. I mean look at him. If you can.

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Special concessions have to be made for Ross Hagen in light of the fact that chili peppers burn his gut.

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Cheryl “Rainbeaux” Smith putters around on her weenie scooter in Laserblast, but it’s nowhere as sad as her boyfriend’s van.

If we’re including bicycles, the bike-riding hero of Time Chasers has to be included. And of course Richard the Clone from Parts, who steals a bike but is undone in his escape by a wily pile of trashbags.

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Well if we’re doing bicycles…

Disagree about Nick. That was an epic low-budget bike chase, and he looked cute doing it.

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Bicycles are definitely included! To that end, I give you Trish from Angels Revenge. Any teen girl that enjoys watching a man get his naughty bits mangled by her cohorts (one of them her teacher no less) deserves a special place on this list.

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Yes, but Nick does manage to ride his bike off of a small cliff. Sadly, it didn’t make the MST3k cut, but Rifftrax kept it in their version. Nick did fare better than the goons chasing him (also on bicycles) though.

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If he’s any good on a bike, it’s because his chin turns his skull into a natural Tour De France helmet. :wink:

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