Ross Hagen. I mean look at him. If you can.
Special concessions have to be made for Ross Hagen in light of the fact that chili peppers burn his gut.
Cheryl “Rainbeaux” Smith putters around on her weenie scooter in Laserblast, but it’s nowhere as sad as her boyfriend’s van.
If we’re including bicycles, the bike-riding hero of Time Chasers has to be included. And of course Richard the Clone from Parts, who steals a bike but is undone in his escape by a wily pile of trashbags.
Disagree about Nick. That was an epic low-budget bike chase, and he looked cute doing it.
Bicycles are definitely included! To that end, I give you Trish from Angels Revenge. Any teen girl that enjoys watching a man get his naughty bits mangled by her cohorts (one of them her teacher no less) deserves a special place on this list.
Yes, but Nick does manage to ride his bike off of a small cliff. Sadly, it didn’t make the MST3k cut, but Rifftrax kept it in their version. Nick did fare better than the goons chasing him (also on bicycles) though.
If he’s any good on a bike, it’s because his chin turns his skull into a natural Tour De France helmet.
Does Servo count, since it was just Short Man’s Disease?
You say that like it’s a bad thing. His one-time sort-of collaborator Larry Linville would’ve given his soul for half that chin!
Max Keller’s old buddy Hogg.
Not only is he the worst (or co-worst) at his art form, but he’s a biker whose bike never actually, y’know, bikes.
Kalgan in Space Mutiny can’t even avoid a low speed collison.
Cut him some slack, they were travelling at speeds of up to two miles per hour.
And dropping that waxing compound makes those things really hard to steer.
When he’s not crashing them, Michael J Nelson rides one of these:
His imagination is very good.
I thought this was about the quality of the cycle and the cycling. Not so much about the dubious content of a particular hero’s “character.”
It’s about the “rider” of the bike. Especially the dubious ones😂