Worst Biker!

Ross Hagen. I mean look at him. If you can.

3 Likes

Special concessions have to be made for Ross Hagen in light of the fact that chili peppers burn his gut.

2 Likes

Cheryl “Rainbeaux” Smith putters around on her weenie scooter in Laserblast, but it’s nowhere as sad as her boyfriend’s van.

If we’re including bicycles, the bike-riding hero of Time Chasers has to be included. And of course Richard the Clone from Parts, who steals a bike but is undone in his escape by a wily pile of trashbags.

6 Likes

Well if we’re doing bicycles…

Disagree about Nick. That was an epic low-budget bike chase, and he looked cute doing it.

4 Likes

Bicycles are definitely included! To that end, I give you Trish from Angels Revenge. Any teen girl that enjoys watching a man get his naughty bits mangled by her cohorts (one of them her teacher no less) deserves a special place on this list.

3 Likes

Yes, but Nick does manage to ride his bike off of a small cliff. Sadly, it didn’t make the MST3k cut, but Rifftrax kept it in their version. Nick did fare better than the goons chasing him (also on bicycles) though.

4 Likes

If he’s any good on a bike, it’s because his chin turns his skull into a natural Tour De France helmet. :wink:

1 Like

Does Servo count, since it was just Short Man’s Disease?

1 Like

image

7 Likes

You say that like it’s a bad thing. His one-time sort-of collaborator Larry Linville would’ve given his soul for half that chin! :wink:

Max Keller’s old buddy Hogg.

3 Likes

Not only is he the worst (or co-worst) at his art form, but he’s a biker whose bike never actually, y’know, bikes.

Gigblobby

6 Likes

Kalgan in Space Mutiny can’t even avoid a low speed collison.

6 Likes

Cut him some slack, they were travelling at speeds of up to two miles per hour.

5 Likes

And dropping that waxing compound makes those things really hard to steer.

5 Likes

When he’s not crashing them, Michael J Nelson rides one of these:
image
Just sayin’.

His imagination is very good.

1 Like

I thought this was about the quality of the cycle and the cycling. Not so much about the dubious content of a particular hero’s “character.” :thinking:

1 Like

It’s about the “rider” of the bike. Especially the dubious ones😂