The worst movie I ever saw was in theaters would probably be the harry Potter movies. I understand some people may like them but I just don’t. I’m not a big magic and fantasy guy.
I was comped for two of them by a friend. But even before Rowling made sticking her foot in it online her true job, I didn’t care about the books or that type of story. (It’s okay, though. Plenty of authors I genuinely liked have also outed themselves as terrible people.)
Sorceress (1982). I laughed so hard all the way through in the theatre it was so bad. I embarrassed the hell out of the people that took me. This movie is perfect for an episode of MST3K…
I think I’ve heard of this, but I’ve never seen it. The video cover art is great: that archer’s chest “armor” seems to be missing some important functionality.
Oddly enough, it wasn’t drawn by Boris Vallejo (Edit: It was some guy named Robert Tanenbaum). Though he did do a bunch of posters during the Pecs & Pulchritude fantasy movie boom of the 1980s, including Barbarian Queen, Phoenix the Warrior, the entire Deathstalker franchise, and National Lampoon’s Vacation.
It has been long enough that I don’t remember specifics but I walked out if Queen if the Damned thinking that it was the worst film I’d ever been out to see.
The don’t wear the chest armour in the movie. In fact, they don’t wear anything on their chests in the best scenes.
No Escape (1994)
Ray Liotta and Lance Henriksen on a prison planet in the “future.” Why? Because it’s the only time in memory that I was so unengaged that I fell asleep in the theater.
A runner-up is Robin Hood: Men In Tights
Yes, I love Mel Brooks. But in addition to the multiple cringeworthy and missed moments in this one, it’s also the only time I’ve walked out on a movie before it was done. I did eventually give it another try before it left the theaters and appreciated it a bit more, but it gets a ding for literally making me leave.
I’ve never given it another chance but I saw “Thin Red Line” in the theater on a date and it was soooo boring and humorless. The best part was a drunk guy in the back row broke out into a falsetto chorus of “Everything is gonna be alright… Rockabye” over an hour into the thing
Junior (1994). Oh boy! Where to start? Where to end? Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito reteam. I enjoyed Twins (1988) and this is the Showgirls (1995) of 90s Comedy. Only North (1994) is close. Arnold backs the wrong horse and it simply isn’t funny. I failed to laugh once. I never watched it again.
Wow… yeah it’s one of the weaker Mel Brooks films, but it’s still the best Robin Hood movie made in the last 50 years… no contest.
I’d have to differ with that.
Well, that’s easy to say now, because this other Robin Hood movie just aged beyond that 50-year mark:
I forgot about Robin and Marian. I stand corrected that Men in Tights is the SECOND greatest Robin Hood film of the last 50 years.
@ArkhamNative yes I had to double check IMDB to make sure that it was at least 50 years old to make that claim.
All other Robin Hood films lately have been utter garbage, oh yeah I forgot that I actually saw the Russell Crowe Robin Hood in theaters so that is easily ONE of the worst films I’ve seen in theaters…
I actually paid for a ticket to see Prince Of Thieves, but I guess at least we got an Alan Rickman performance
Rickman was worth the ticket on his own. Just about.
Just imagine the movie with a safe casting choice for the Sheriff of Nottingham. Someone who’d take it as seriously as Costner did in his supporting role.
Y’all need to stop making me feel old … grumble.
Disney’s Robin Hood is my favorite Robin Hood, probably because we had a VHS copy that I watched repeatedly as a child.
I liked Men In Tights when Comedy Central ran it repeatedly in the '90s, but am not sure how well it holds up.
Recently, I was told Madame Web was so bad, it was funny so against my better judgment, I saw it last night and it was… not funny? Just a dull flick with wasted potential and an unfocused story. It didn’t even feel like a superhero movie (and not that one) since the main heroes are hardly in costume, so why bother?
I also forgot that years back, I saw Battle Los Angeles at a Bangkok theater (where it was known as World Invasion: Battle Los Angeles). I couldn’t make heads or tails on what was going on due to all that shaky cam rocking the boat (the editing only amplified my confusion). Still amazed I didn’t come out of it with a headache.
If there’s not at least one reference to Clinton Spilsbury amongst our cadres of professional riffers, my entire life has been a waste.
For real, I remember this whole pre-internet uproar but never asked to see the film. I already thought of The Lone Ranger as a roasted chestnut by the time I was a pre-teen.