Worst MST3K Child Hero

With Quest of the Delta Knights appearing in the latest Turkey Day poll, it’s a good time to reflect on the fantasy “epics” that star a young lad as the main hero, usually with a washed-out old wizard as his nominal guardian. Which of these lads does the worst job delivering on his heroic potential?

  • Tee
    Tee the Unready from Quest of the Delta Knights

  • Simon the Ring-Loser from Wizards of the Lost Kingdom I
  • Tyor
    Tyor the Smagey-Bagel from Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II

0 voters

In all fairness, one could also run a poll on which lad has the worst mentor. Those podgy old wizards have a lot to answer for.


In the end, they stood victorious, baddie vanquished and all. So I’ll vote for the one that annoyed me the most… Tyor


Tough choice.


That’s a tough call, though I’m tempted to pick No. 1 just because I’m revolted by the message in his big finale.

Ha ha ha we’ll just destroy all this invaluable stuff because WE a bunch of barely competent nobles have decided that the unwashed don’t deserve it because their brains don’t work!!

That ending is right up there with the one from Terror From The Year 5000. (Stupid women in the patriarchy are to blame for all our problems because they didn’t take down the patriarchy!) as being so infuriating that it makes me want to spit nails.


I’ll go with Tee


Tyor is one of the main reasons I cannot stomach Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II. I find him repulsive. Part I, the kid is annoying but it’s basically the same plot as Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell, just with the addition of the polar bigfoot. :slight_smile:


Oh, Tyor. Tyor by a long shot. Not only is he perpetually annoying with no redeeming personality traits, but he also gets double negative points for being in the worst movie of the three, thus highlighting and compounding his annoyance. I hope he trips and falls into the Wizards equivalent of the Bog of Eternal Stench and can’t crawl his way out.


Surprised the kid from the first Gamera movie wasn’t included.


Wholeheartedly agreed, Tyor by a mile. Who on Earth thought it was a good idea to put this kid in front of a camera? I’d have reservations putting him inside the Gulfax suit from the previous movie, for fear his obnoxious smugness would still somehow leak out.


He was ok in Tremors.


I dunno, he was kind of typecast as “annoying brat” in that too.

Though I will say that I think he was intentionally annoying in Tremors.


If we’re judging by mentors as well as kids, at least David Warner taught Tee the efficacy of pee-throwing. Is that a point for or against? Meh, I voted Tyor, because he annoyed me most. At least Tee could dance! I have no thoughts on Simon. He was there. Crabby had more personality, but Simon didn’t bug me.


I find that Simon has the least objectionable personality, but I suspect also the highest number of preventable deaths due to his own stupidity (re: dropping the magic ring immediately).

I want to punch Tyor pretty much every second he is on screen, so he gets my vote. He’d have to raise Atlantis and restore the Library Of Alexandria for me to acknowledge he has any hero potential.


Definitely Tyor. I didn’t realise he’s the annoying kid from Tremors. Now I want a crossover where he gets eaten by a graboid.


Any Kenny from any Kaiju flick is more shrill and irritating than the above choices. But the one from Yongary must die first!


Itch-ray that kid into oblivion


I think he does get eaten in Tremors 3, but I could be wrong.

Edit: Ok, I was wrong. His character lives. :unamused:


I’ll wonder until my last day on Earth: did Sandy Frank deliberately pick the most annoying voice actors he could, as a fiendish plot to drive us all mad? Or did he just pick the cheapest voice actors he could, with the madness-inducing as an unexpected bonus? :thinking:


I’m going to go one further and suggest he be in a crossover with a later tremors movie and gets eaten by an As*blaster. Just seems more fitting.


Tyor for his sheer levels of annoyingness.

But an honorable mention to Troy from The Final Sacrifice simply for teaching kids that they should run away from home and jump into the trucks of passing creepy transients and just starting living with them and that’ll be a fun adventure.