Worst performance by an actor/actress

I watched Racket Girls last night and it occured to me that Clara Mortensen and Rita Martinez were absolutely horrible actresses. I know, they were wrestlers first but still, wow. So, in that vein, let’s nominate the worst of the worst actors and actresses in an Mst performance. Shouldn’t be hard!


Rita Martinez is going to be hard to beat. I’m not sure anyone can.


The “absolutely fascinating” Adrianna Miles from Werewolf comes to mind.


You think she gave a worse performance than Angelika Jager in Robot Holocaust, who had an even more bizarre accent and worse delivery?


Worst actor?


Burr DeBenning as DOCTOR TED NELSON in The Incredible Melting Man.

Crow put it best when he quipped, “Maybe it was a rider in his contract that he would be in the film, but he wouldn’t act.”

He’s a non-presence in the role. Even when he gripes about crackers, he doesn’t invest in the moment. He commits to not committing to the role, and there’s something Zen-like about how he’s there at the same time that he isn’t there.


The reporter from Moon Beast has that amazing screaming fit in the car, on top of all her other issues. But her pajama-wearing boyfriend is the pits, too. The actor who plays Professor Stew is really the only one who almost comes across as a real person with any kind of inner life.

I don’t think we rag on Fertilizer Salesman Dad in Manos nearly enough. He absolutely has one setting through the whole film and it’s “Rude as f*ck utterly punchable dickweed.”

Same goes for that pompous, sleepwalking bozo of a “scholar” from Ator. One setting, and it’s “Level 5 Smug Alert.”

Also, Raul Julia clearly does not have acting on his mind at any point throughout Overdrawn. Makes me wonder if he ever taught a course in Not Acting.

Whoops! Almost forgot to add Beau Bridges from Village of the Giants. He’s clearly wasted in much of the film, and I don’t mean in the sense of wasted talent. : P


Worst job by an A-list actress might have to go to Mia Farrow’s non-performance in Avalanche.


Let’s also hear it for Hemmingway lisping all the way through Killer Fish.


Worst actress?

Kathy Ireland as Wanda Saknussemm in Alien from L.A.

Quoth Mike: “She’s emoting! She’s gonna blow!”

If you tell me that you bought anything from the performance that Kathy Ireland was selling in Alien from L.A., I’m calling you a liar. Bonus points for a helium-fueled voice that made you cringe like Austin Powers putting a CD on his record player.


I nominate the entire “cast” of The Starfighters.


Do non actors count as actors?


I’m of the opposite mind. Julia really sells it for me, and I get the idea that he had a lot of fun playing Bogie’s Rick Blaine, even if he’s not doing much with it outside of an unremarkable Bogie impression (I mean, other than Fingal loving the film so much, is there a logical reason for Rick to look like Fingal? The only other dual-acting role more nonsensical is David Warner in Delta Knights).

Plus, the man, while literally dying, gave one of the most memorable over-the-top performances in Street Fighter as M. Bison, and he did it for his kids. Raul Julia always gave everything to his roles.


It’s nothing personal against Julia. I’ve liked him in other stuff. But I don’t like Fingal as a person or care about his fate, and at least some of that is due to how little depth there is to Julia’s performance. Of course, the rest of it is an ineptly written story centering on a lecherous, lazy, unappealing twerp, with indifferent direction. I’m not laying the whole thing at his feet.


When Crow and Mike yelled, “Shut up!”

GIF by Alicia Keys


I nominate every single actor/actress in Pod People.


How about everyone in The Beast of Yucca Flatts, except Tor Johnson? And the only reason I give Tor a pass is because it looks like he’s the only one in the film even attempting to act.

Not well, mine you, but attempting.


I think it would be a close vote.


It was a brief part…but that one guy that looked like Curly from the first “Gamera” movie. Sepcifically the “calling all planes, fighter planes” line.


I don’t think it’s him not acting. I think it’s him waiting for the director to actually direct. I looked him up; Douglas Williams’ main body of work has been children’s shows, and you can kind of see that in the unsubtle way he handles the story. We shan’t even get into the wild deviations from the actual original Varley story… I’d blame that on the screenwriter.


Yeah… [sigh] This is probably what befell our prestigious couple in Avalanche, too. :confused: