Worst Song Ever

I imagine it took a minute or two to realize their mistake, but maybe not much longer.
/thinlyveileddigatelo>

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:open_mouth:
“Telephone Line” is one of the greatest records ever made!

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[shrug] I like them better when they’re uptempo. As phone-related ballads go, I like Jim Croce’s “Operator (That’s Not The Way It Feels).”

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I never have, and probably never will, like “I Will Always Love You”. Not just played to death, it’s a sappy song lacking any kind of virtuosity to me. I assume its initial success was due to its cinematic tie-in, and it entered the Hits Canon from there. But I dunna like it at all.

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The best phone song I ever heard was “I Miss You” by Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes, even if it takes a few minutes before the phone call part begins.

Epic!

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Decorate (your soundscape) WITH PHONES!!

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Me neither. I like very few songs that sound like they were written to be prom themes.

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The first—and greatest—telephone ballad:

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Dolly Parton’s original is a tad more bearable, if only because it’s not bombastic enough to peel paint off the side of a Sherman tank.

I’d be the first to say that Whitney Houston had great vocal chops, but the overwrought, cluttered, and so typically Eighties production she was always saddled with makes me run for the hills whenever any of her hits come on, to this day.

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Melisma makes me cringe and hurry out of the room. Whitney was nowhere near as bad as Mariah in that respect, but it still spoiled for me an otherwise perfectly fine voice.

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Melisma’s always been controversial. Back in the day (`12th century?) the monks would fight over whether or not all that fiddling about on “a-men” was sacrilegious…

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I was teaching a course on Technology and Human Values once, and one day I did a little impromptu presentation on the evolution of “Hello” from a long-distance shout to a boat to a long-distance salutation over a phone line to an everyday salutation in person. I thought it was a neat little piece of trivia, but when I got to the end of it, one of the students asked “Is this going to be on the test?” —No, I just thought it was a fun fact.

Hello (Wikipedia)

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“Yes, but only for you.”

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This song has what I refer to as a ‘F*ck You’ key change, wherein an already tired musical phrase is modulated upwards in a display of imperial grandeur that holds the listener in contempt.

In terms of movie-tie in songs from that era though it is pipped to the post by Everything I Do (I Do It For You) by Bryan Adams. That song was INESCAPABLE for a whole summer and is offensively insipid.

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“Is this going to be on the test?”

“Sigh… no, you don’t have to use one of your four memory slots on it.”

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I Remember Holding You by The Boys Club

Sounds like background music for your average erotic thriller Skinemax, Showtime and Joe Bob would host during late night hours in the late 80s and early 90s right down to the sax.

All The Man That I Need is her worst. I’ve never really liked that song and especially the sax solo and when I found out who did it 2 decades later, it dawned on me that 10 year old me was right.

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“No, but you will be required to sing it, dressed as Michigan J. Frog, to pass.”

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Beautifully stated. I agree, it’s like a visceral offense.

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Those uppity late 80s early 90s songs like Walking on Sunshine, Life is a Highway and the likes of that kind of crap.

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