Worst Song Ever

[Kunochan]

Worst song ever. A celebration of incest.

Also, the best thing in the movie.

Hanging Out With My Family Birdemic

[FastidiousRobot]

@duaneiac

But TT’s cover of “Stairway To Heaven” beats the original version hands down!

I missed this earlier, and this is a bit off-topic because it’s actually one of the greatest recordings ever, but I give you Little Roger and the Goosebumps with “Stairway to Gilligan’s Island”.

STAIRWAY TO GILLIGANS ISLAND - LITTLE ROGER AND THE GOOSEBUMPS

[AndrewCrossett]

“Rapture” wouldn’t have been nearly as dumb if Debbie Harry hadn’t tried to rap. In finishing-school French, no less. Between that and Vanilla Ice, it’s a wonder Eminem didn’t decide to take up the accordion.

On the other hand, Debbie Harry was responsible for the first actual hip-hop group ever performing on national television. (Funky 4+1, on the SNL episode she hosted… guests were allowed to bring along their own musical guests sometimes in those days.)

[whenfatkillsfat]

Still better than her late friend from The Ramones. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.

Dee Dee Ramone's Rap Album: Was It Really That Bad? - TheHappySpaceman Reviews

[McCloud]

I have miraculously retained all the 45rpm singles I bought in the 80s (about 100 of them). I unearthed them again a couple days ago and thought of this thread, thought you all might get a kick out of some of this stuff:

There are more than a few in here that probably belong in this thread. I am of course deeply ashamed of some of these, but you’re all laughing with me here … right?

[CLANG_Potroast]

Of all of these, I’d rate Samantha Fox the most expulsion-worthy “artist.” Just one 80s-survivor’s opinion, of course.

[SandyFrank]

@McCloud

45rpm singles

Pretty nice! Is that a T’Pau single among them? That’s cool as well.

I once had a nifty collection of 45s, including some novelty pressings. I had a Kraftwerk single from Japan on “Computer World green” colored vinyl, a Tears For Fears single packed along with photo calendar cards, and one from The Residents on white vinyl with a sleeve that made the whole thing look like a huge eyeball.

[AndrewCrossett]

@McCloud

There are more than a few in here that probably belong in this thread. I am of course deeply ashamed of some of these, but you’re all laughing with me here … right?

Wow, I like… eight of those songs. Or maybe nine… that Whitney one is OK.

Still got some of my old 45’s with picture sleeves.

[moviegique]

@McCloud

, but you’re all laughing with me here … right?

Oh, “with”, it’s totally “with”. Well, maybe not exactly “with”, maybe there’s a better preposition to use here. “Alongisde”? No, no, that’s not any better. “Around”? Yes, that feels closer.

Give me a few and I’ll think of it!

[BorisLugosi]

@McCloud

Worst Song Ever is a pretty high bar to clear. On the one hand, it’s impossibly subjective, but on the other hand, Cher’s “Believe,” which was oozing out of every pore of society about 20 years ago.

Can’t help but dance when hearing this song, ordering a Nacho Bel Grande at the Taco Bell.

[FreemanLowell]

@McCloud

Cher’s “Believe,” which was oozing out of every pore of society about 20 years ago.

I was living in the UK and, as I recall, it came out there a month or two before it did in the States. It seemed to everywhere overnight. During this time, I moved to the States just when it was blowing up there.

Now, I watched Cher on television with Sonny as a tyke in the '70s. I knew that she was a groovy chick then and have dug some of her movies and music over the years. I’m still as mesmerized now when I hear “Gypsies, Tramps And Thieves” as I was as that same tyke in the early '70s. I dug “Believe,” until it felt like the song was EVERYWHERE around me for a good year.

It was just too much

[SteveT]

It would be like one minute fifteen

[BorisLugosi]

Some of you mentioned Neil Young but said the wrong song. Transformer Man by Neil Young is the worst.

Bob Segar isn’t a favorite of mine, but the best thing he ever did was Shakedown from the Beverly Hills 2 soundtrack.

Listen to Rush’s Resist before judging the band.

Those first two Volbeat albums piqued my interest in the band. It was down hill from there.

The worst song ever is usually whatever my girlfriend is listening too.

[whenfatkillsfat]

I love Rush but if anything of theirs is bad, it’s Presto. The production is typical of early 90s adult contemporary from post Christie Brinkley Billy Joel and Michael Bolton.

[whenfatkillsfat]

TTG is a half assed guitar free and synthesizer retread of These Dreams.

[RFSwitchArt]

Dominic the Christmas Donkey… I swear, that is the song that’s gonna make me snap.

[BorisLugosi]

@whenfatkillsfat

I love Rush but if anything of theirs is bad, it’s Presto. The production is typical of early 90s adult contemporary from post Christie Brinkley Billy Joel and Michael Bolton.

Even Van Halen went through a similar phase with 5150. I don’t mind it. This is coming from someone that enjoys Jon Anderson’s Animation.

[whenfatkillsfat]

OU812 and Balance are worse. Hagar comes from the same Anthony Kiedis school of sloppy and sophomoric songwriting. The former is about love and dreams and all that and the latter is about California. It’s even worse when he tries to be like Bono on songs like Mine All Mine and Feelin without making a real point instead of saying, “Look how tuned I am on what’s going on in society!”

“John Paul’s all bulletproof and it really puts me through the roof!”

[SOLorbust]

Anyone remember the Barbie Girl song from the mid 90s? It played a lot. It’s incredibly annoying on its own. The line “You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere” is creepy. It may be a doll, but some adult fantasized this. Hopefully this person is not allowed near children. 90s boy bands tend to irritate me. Ew! I just remembered the Spice Girls. scrub scrub scrub I agree with Eric Cartman that Barbara Streisand should be a swear word.
scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub

[CatBountry]

@UrnotRibs

I Wupped Batman’s Ass

Wesley Willis got some language going on in case you’re at work!

Oh dude, I love Wesley Willis but I think tat might be because it’s the sort of off-the-wall stuff that I find absolutely endearing and I will defend him. But, yeah, he doesn’t make music for like, well-adjusted people. I’m also glad to see other Wesley Willis appreciators in this thread.

@SandyFrank

I give you my favorite Christmas song, by one of my favorite bands. I guarantee it will make one or more of your “worst songs ever” lists, and I’ll still love it.

Santa Dog by The Residents

The Residents - Santa Dog '88

EDIT: If I’m being completely candid, it’s my second-favorite Christmas song. I’ll always love Carol Of The Bells best.

Oh man I love “Santa Dog” and I will spam every version of this song in my Discord server’s music channel every Christmas.

@AndrewCrossett

I dunno about worst song ever… there are so many to choose from. My first answer would be “anything with autotune”… Maroon 5’s “Moves Like Jagger” being a good example.

God, that song causes me actual pain. I hate the whistling so much. It’s awful. I hate it.

@trdsf

If there’s good rap, it’s not the stuff being played at max volume by people who drive sound systems with a car attached…

If I can’t blast Death Grips from my car and spook old people, then my god, I feel like I’m wasting what little youth I still have left.

LOL but seriously, I used to not even be into rap music all that much outside of Outkast until I listened to MF Doom’s Mm…Food album for the first time in college. You might appreciate him. Maybe some Aesop Rock if you’re feeling like pulling out a thesaurus. There really is a lot of good hip hop out there, I really do love the genre immensely, and I hate to see it written off even when it is being purposely crass, as sometimes that’s part of the artistic intent of it. Sampling and remixing itself can be its own art; J Dilla was an amazing producer whose final album Donuts, made while he was on his death bed, is all just beats, and it’s a masterpiece of the genre. Even if you don’t personally like it, you can at least appreciate the skill that goes into it.

I think for me, being someone who grew up in the 90’s and early 2000’s, a lot of the songs I really hate are ones that got played a lot during my childhood and adolescence. I legit think Matchbox 20 is worse than Nickleback, who are just bland. Matchbox 20 basically paved the way for Nickleback’s existence which makes them far worse in my eyes, as they sort of signaled a derth of decent mainstream rock music for nearly a decade, where everything became either bland, boring frat rock or post-grunge, or nu-metal, which had a lot more misses for me than it did hits. I feel like Nickleback, Limp Bizkit and to a much lesser degree, Disturbed and Papa Roach, at least can be mined for comedic or meme material. I don’t think the same can be said for Matchbox 20, Third Eye Blind, Saliva, Staind, or Puddle of Mudd, whose atrocious cover of Nirvana’s “About a Girl” makes me want to tear my own head off. It is painful to listen to. I’d nominate that for worst cover song, honestly. It is offensive to me on all levels.

There’s a YouTuber named Pat Finnerty who has a great series where he discusses a lot of music I absolute hate called “What Makes This Song Stink.” I think the most poignant one being his video on Weezer’s “Beverly Hills” and how much it bothered him as a fan of Weezer growing up. And while I wouldn’t even put it as my least favorite Weezer song (though it is up there), it’s more about what the song symbolizes than anything else.

What Makes This Song Stink Ep. 3 - Weezer Beverly Hills: A Retrospective

This whole series is great, honestly.

As for the worst song ever made? It’s probably on Corey Feldman’s Angelic 2 The Core album. Here’s a man who reviews music on YouTube for a living listening to it and breaking down on camera for nearly an hour.

THE WORST ALBUM OF 2016 (Corey Feldman's Angelic 2 The Core) [NOT GOOD]

Oh, and Live’s “When Dolphins Cry.” Worst Live song. I know Live is a band that you either really like them or you can’t stand them, but I like their earlier stuff well enough, they were alright, right up until I heard that song come out. It’s worse than the worst song on Throwing Copper, “Horse.” What a pitiful song to follow up to probably the best song on that album, “White, Discussion.” But “Horse” is still leagues better than “When Dolphins Cry.”