You, Robot

So, if you were to become a new Bot on the show, what would your bot name and personality be?

I’d be Guy Wire, a hybrid of Bob Ross and a beatnik. Soft-spoken, mellow, and prone to utterances that lack all context. I’d have a Ross 'fro of steel wool, capped with a black beret.

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Hey, wait … I thought beatniks were more into leather jackets, rampant property damage and the use of deadly force against mixologists.

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You’re thinking of greasers. Or possibly hippies. Whichever is a generation younger than the filmmakers.

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Only the obese variety of mixologist.

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Ah! Specialization. Important distinction.

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Ooo… Hooray, creativity. Imma have to think about this a while and come back with an answer, if I would be a bot… maybe my thoughts will tell me I would be a subject or a mad…hmmm

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I would be Nonsequi-Bert, sort of a generic looking bot who occasionally wanders into frame, makes a tangential observation that elicits a polite chuckle (at best) from the cast, and then wanders off to do whatever it is I do the rest of the time.

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And the occasional string of garbled profanity?

image

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I have to garble my profanity, too? Oh … OK.

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Mine already is basically, as most of my swear words date to the time of Gold Rush prospectors. Goldarn rassafrassin hobjobbers!

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I’m going to have to think about this one… have three different images bouncing around in my skull on this one…

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I had three right off the bat as well, but they were already taken:

2LNe

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Frosti with an I. Formally known as J Crew-ella, retired small battle bot who is looking to try out her hand in stand up comedy. Does still have explosive anger issues to contend with that mostly manifest at night. Mostly…

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I’d be “Ada” in honor of Math maven Ada Lovelace, sometimes nicknamed “mother of the modern computer.”

I guess this would necessitate learning something about Math. Or I could leave all that to GPC and just tell everyone to read the damn manual if she wasn’t available.

Failing that, I’d be Watkins, after Beverley “Guitar” Watkins. Look it up. In which case I wouldn’t ever speak words but just communicate in Blues riffs.

Just to mess with Tom, I’d be part blender, and maybe I’d have some Slinky limbs or a guitar neck, too.

[ETA - The Mads probably built me, but that’s not their forte. So I’m not evil so much as morally ambiguous in an early Lando Calrissian way. I bet I go behind their backs a lot, just for fun.]

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Well I’ll have to think about what sort of bot I would be… but my name would definitely be Marvin.

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I would be Sobad, and anytime they say “this is SO bad!” I come in from the wings of the theater, and they say “not YOU, Sobad!”

And then I get one, decent throwaway riff before I exit, stage right.
Depending on the scene, I may even play the Sad Bluth Boy song as I exit.

And as for a bot, something humanoid, with shoulders that can slump. And maybe a beak like Tom’s…

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I don’t do cultural appropriation, so I would need to be a Black woman to have my first choice:

Joan Armaturing

She’d be a guitarist and would do duets with Growler when she’s not setting Crow and Tom straight.

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The real Joan once proudly said that she owned 17 Van Morrison albums. Maybe you could get a special dispensation for this gig.

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“I’m more of a Gordon Lightfoot kind of guy.”

[insert sound of guitar hitting my face]

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[insert additional sound of me wrapping a net around the lighthouse base so no one really gets hurt when they’re thrown. Annoyed, sure. But not hurt]

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