If you where to apply to a non existent job to be on the staff of MST3K, what would be your position and on your resume?
Here are my qualifications :). Specialize in Videography and documenting :). Quality depends on conditions and access :). I also do 3D art on the side. :).
Just added this to the arsenal too 
Bot wrangler.
I tried recording an audition once but it resulted in many OSHA violations. I would be best at off-screen talent. I am capable of lifting and moving heavy things with minimal assistance.
OK, but what do your Raisin Snails look like?
Haven’t made any yet?
i’d be worried with this job. what if an expensive bot got wrecked? :).
I will organize all the things!
Especially the props. 
Satellite of Love AR/VR experience ahhh ‘curator’. Design, model, texture, light, animate, script SoL walk-throughs and s.t.e.m/s.t.e.a.m.-related experiences, exploration, etc. Free-roam, guided, task-based, or other. Would interview friends and colleagues who are in various sciences, arts, research, academic and looney fields for hexfield fun too.
Experience? Illustrator (old school), storyboard artist, concept artist, 3D artist predominantly as model, texture, TD. 15 games, design for NBC/Universal, 5 seasons on Clone Wars, AR etc through Unreal Engine, now at Nike.
I’ll be the resident know-it-all. If they need any research done, I’ll do it and tell them way more than they want to know.
I already have a full-time job, but would desperately love to be a remote writer for the show. Especially if they allowed me to provide a couple of invention exchanges. (I have about 20 of them tucked away if anybody’s interested) Here’s my example riffing audition:
I also wrote a good number of the riffs for our fan-riff of The Incredible Petrified World, which is still… uh… in production limbo, in no small part to me being extremely busy on other projects at the moment.
I’m one of those people who tends to have so many irons in the fire that there are no more irons or fire left over for anybody else.
Over the years I’ve tried my hands at just about everything from comedy writing, to graphic design, puppetry, webcomics, video editing and production, sculpting, painting, RPG and game design, telesnap reconstruction of lost television episodes, plus theatrical/fan-film/haunted house costume and prop building. I also have a partially assembled Dalek and an Ant weight Battlebot named “Blend-O” sitting out in the garage. I’m married to a theatrical costume designer, so we frequently end up collaborating on projects.
But for the last 5 or so years, I’ve been channeling the majority of my creativity into 3D model making, specifically building articulated 3D printable action figures for the “unloved” monsters of classic 60/s70’s era Doctor Who who have never been given an officially licensed figure of their own. Many of these include special light-up elements, spring drives, pullback motors, or any other bells and whistles I can think of to cram inside. (All of these templates are available for free on https://www.3dprintingdoctorwho.com/ for anybody who wants to take a look)
So, basically, I’ve got some comedy chops and a wide range of esoteric knowledge to pull from, but I also have an understanding of the physical process and limitations of how production and physical effects work, especially in a theatrical or “live to tape” type setting where there are no quick edits or fancy visual effects, and a fallible human needs to be able to make this mechanical apparatus work (be it a puppet, prop, or special effects) while hitting their mark and saying their lines, preferably with the option of a second take if the first one goes pear-shaped.
I’d apply for a video editing role, though would probably try to slink my way into the writers room. If I was feeling particularly brave, I’d submit this video as evidence of my abilities in writing, performing and editing, and hope they want to use me for one of them!
Apologies in advance. I did this during lockdown and nobody was around to stop me.
Well if Gizmonics, Inc. needs a policy and procedure analyst, I’ll do it. I don’t need an audition. The very fact that I’d willingly be a policy and procedure analyst should be enough.
You blame Tom & Crow. Because, let’s be honest, they probably did it.
Off topic, the clone wars redeemed the prequels for me :). Matt Lanter is the only anakin :).
I’ve heard that a lot. We put everything we had into that show. Thanks.
I can make waffles.
Well, I can put frozen waffles in a toaster.
As long as you provide the toaster. And waffles.
Oh, and some one else will have to take them out of the toaster; that sucker gets hot!
Can I work at the Gizmoplex? I can do the concession stand.
I got dibs on the ticket booth!
Since the original question said “nonexistent job”, I’ll choose: Experiment Guinea Pig! If the members of the Satellite of Love make an invention that they don’t want to test on themselves, they can use me for the demonstrations.
Qualifications: an eagerness for friendship and acceptance; years of doing whatever my bosses want, even if it wasn’t in my job description
If I can list a real job, though, I’d most want to be an MST3K sensitivity consultant. Someone who can listen and contribute to riff-writing just to make sure nothing accidentally harmful is said, or if a touchy subject IS used, that the jokes are done well. (I’m not accusing the MST3K crew of anything, btw. Any and all workplaces have the potential to make kinda tasteless jokes. It’s just human nature. The best way to prevent that, or at least to make GOOD spicy jokes, is to have a diverse workplace and a sensitivity consultant’s opinion!)
Qualifications: paid work reading the manuscript of a YA novel to provide insight on how gender and sexuality were used; a BA in Creative Writing; 2 years of writing/illustrating an online LGBT-focused webcomic that has gotten good feedback; a published story in a supernatural short fiction anthology
