Ed Pool…I don’t k!ll anyone…I just sit in the pool in my back yard.
But I still make semi funny jokes.
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I’m Luke Cave, and I have bad guys over to my cave
…where they meet my roommate…and find out what it is.
You figure it out.
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I’d be The Ghost Who Ambles. I’ll fight pirates and jungle militias, when I get around to it.
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I’d be a pacifist version of The Evil Midnight Bomber what bombs at midnight. Basically, I talk gibberish but don’t try to blow people up.
" And so he says to me, ‘you wanna be a bad guy?’ and I say, ‘Yeah baby! I wanna be bad!’ I say 'SURF’S UP, SPACE PONIES! I’m making gravy without the lumps! ’ AHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
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We all know how Marvel is jealous that Corman made a better Fantastic Four movie than any of the big budget productions that were released while spending less than those other projects did on craft services. I propose that Corman should make an end run around them by releasing it under the title The Terrific Tetrad.
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I like the cut of your jib!
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Predatory Lender Woman! I’ll approve a loan for you with great sounding benefits. They disappear after a week. So you really have a tough time paying for the first month. By six months you need a second job to get by. After nine months you’ve made cuts in spending everywhere you can and now are getting payday loans. In a cruel twist of fate I own those payday loan companies. 
It’s now 10 months and those payday loans now show what a stupid mistake they were! You are selling what you can, raiding the fridge at work, and living off complimentary crackers given with soup that have sat in a drawer since the dawn of time. 
It’s your first anniversary! To celebrate you stop wearing clothes on the weekends to reduce laundry expenses.
By now you’re wondering what the heck is wrong with me. Did I misunderstand the topic? Do I even know what a hero is? Is this person on goofballs? No, yes, and no again.
One man’s hero is another man’s enemy. Superheroes leave as much damage as the villains. Superman smashes buildings, Batman burns the car behind him, Spiderman leaves webs everywhere, Spiderman man triggers arachnophobia. Adam West dances. Wonder Woman’s invisible jet is all sorts of hazards. Green Lantern can’t fight the color yellow. Bad guys just need to cover themselves in yellow paint.
So who considers this a hero? Greedy businessmen, banks, and politicians obviously. Probably the people in Bizzaro’s planet Htrae would too.
Now everybody knows what I’m like when I have insomnia and pass time watching b-movies.
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In league with the Credible Hulk and Man Man, I will be 60% Aquaman.
Behold, 60% of me is water! I can … do some things, I guess, because I’m 60% water! Stay hydrated, everybody!
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Was Google Girl back when the MST3K search result page was less than 100 entries. Now I’m either Citation Needed or Saturday Librarian.
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At the bottom of an existing post, clink the Link icon and then copy the link. In the post you’re writing, select the text you want to link out, click the link icon above what you’re writing and paste in the copied link.
Matter-Eater Lad - Only I’d be “What’s the Matter, Eater Man?”
My power is that I consume things I know I shouldn’t, and my glum, pained expression comes from the realization that there’s no amount of Imodium in world than can spare me from my stomachs wrath!
Speaking of which, I wouldn’t want to be “Don’t stand behind Matter-Eater Lad when he’s eaten a tunnel full matter, dumbass man”
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I’d be Pasty Spouse. My spying skills extended to monitoring the neighbors. My martial arts abilities are demonstrated by nudging the cat away from the door with my foot. Fear me!
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Nowing Guy. Exactly like Darkwing Duck but human. And by exact I mean no pants too.
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I coat villains with non-stick cooking sprays, for I am…Pam-U Man!
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Shrinks when wet, stretches when overused, and with a telepathic connection to all trousers: I am Pant Man!
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I’d be a sort of knock-off Spider-Man, Daddy Longlegs. I have long legs. That’s it. I can get cats out of trees but I’m useless in a fight because I keep taking shots to the groin.
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Weren’t they kind of behind making that one so they’d keep the rights?
Or am I thinking of a different Fantastic Four movie that was made just so a company could keep the film rights…
(In all seriousness though I do quite like the 2005 Fantastic Four movie)
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Actually no you can’t see…
I’m pretty sure his suit doesn’t have eyeholes… (if they did I’m not sure if they’re real eye holes or just fake ones…
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I grok your mouth music.
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