Your pick for the most bizarre B-Z GRADE MOVIE

Bermuda Tentacles

Legend of the Bog

Sea Fever

Fungicide

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Welp I just finished watching Manos, and it was pretty bizarre.

Gotta be honest, I just saw Tanny and the T-Rex on “The Last Drive-In” and it was…delightful.

Though watching a bad movie with Joe Bob Briggs makes it infinitely better. The frequent interruptions also help with those harder-to-watch movies like Cannibal Holocaust and Castle Freak. (The latter is actually a solid flick but, man, it’s a hard watch.) But it makes it possible to get through something like Things.

I stumbled across a West German…thing…called Goblet of Gore which…uh…yeah.

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My current picks for worst/weirdest B-Z grade movie is Lycan Colony and Intercessor: Another Rock n’ Roll Nightmare. I love the era of home video movie where smaller, more accessible digital video cameras were becoming popular in the 00s and people just began making the weirdest f**king movies in the world.

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One of the strangest short films I’ve seen is Stalked. Clocking in around a half-hour, it’s a lost Twilight Zone episode created by the Lutheran Churches of America. A man escapes from a fairground waxworks horror show to what looks like a depopulated European burg. There he encounters the crucified form of Monkey Christ, struggles with a barrel organ, and has an epiphany delivered by a wet naked Dutchman.

It’s public domain, though I don’t know if MST3K would dare touch it.

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Another unusual film is the animated feature Renaissance. The plot is actually pretty standard sci-fi, but the monochrome animation is something else. It took me a while before the old brain started automatically processing it as comprehensible visual information. Recommended viewing.

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I’m not sure if this synopsis amuses or terrifies me.

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So … much … negative … space.

Some of the stuff I’ve seen at the Smithee Awards… yikes. The ones that particularly stick in my mind are:

  • Meathead Goes Hog Wild, the premise of which is described thusly: “Our slacker hero, taking life advice from a local hobo, decides to do good in the world…using MEAT.”
  • Hard Rock Zombies, there’s no way to summarize it, just read the synopsis for yourselves;
  • The Roller Blade Seven, in case you ever wanted to see a rollerblade gang fight with random banjo music; and
  • The Manipulator, with Mickey Rooney spending most of the movie in a fake Cyrano de Bergerac nose, or in drag. And you really can’t believe how much I wish I was making that up.
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Aside from the doing good in the world part, this sounds like it could be my bio-pic.

If you haven’t then watch the uncut R rated version of Tammy and the TRex that was recently released on Shudder. It makes it into a legitimately great movie!

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And watch “The Last Drive-In” episode. It’s so much fun hearing about how the movie got made.

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I watch bad/cheesy movies every weekend and one of my favorites is Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster.

It’s perfect for riffing. Early '60s, jazzy score that sometimes appears and disappears at will or during inappropriate times, teens being teens, a rock ‘n’ roll pool party, aliens led by a former Playboy pinup, titular monsters who don’t actually appear or fight until the last ten minutes of the movie … it stinks.

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As a tyke, I would see this in the TV listings and my tyke brain would boggle at the idea. Frankenstein? And a monster from space?

Unfortunately, it rarely popped up. If it did, it always aired on some independent channel at 2:00am (by which time most channels and eight-year olds had signed off). When I finally saw it, I understood disappointment and betrayal.

I would love to see it on MST3K.

Toss up between Treasure of the Four Crowns of Hercules 1983.

A few years ago, I saw Dead Heat starring Treat Williams and Joe Piscopo. And now we have R.I.P.D.

And my first troma movie I saw was Blondes Have More Guns.
Fun Fact: The main lead Harry played by Michael McGaharn did the voice of Knuckles the Echidna from the first Sonic Adventure game on Sega Dreamcast!

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I absolutely adore APE. It’s not good, but it is just so delightfully silly, I can watch it at the drop of a hat.

A giant monkey flipping the bird, worth the price of admission right there.

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Some fantastic choices here, and I have many I can name, but for now, I shall leave you with “Shreck”. No, no green ogres or talking donkeys here. This is a shot on video in some kid’s backyard movie about hardcore edgy film fans who summon a dead Nazi (the eponymous Shreck) to do their bidding. Blood, death, and time travel hijinks ensue.

Oh, disappointment and betrayal reminds me of They Saved Hitler’s Brain. Sixty minutes of disjointed nonsense, six glorious minutes if Hitler’s head in a jar.

They remade Day of The Dead. That was hot garbage. But the most unwatchable movie, which is the only movie I ever turned off and never finished, is the Adam Sandler movie Going Overboard.