But since one of our Gizmoplex passes are set to expire by the end of the month, I guess this means this might be the last Vault Picks we’ll get for a while.
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Hearing Mega-Synthia shriek “EMIL-AAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!” gives me serotonin
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Synthia wouldn’t do us wrong like that! Pearl or Mega-Synthia, maybe, but not Synthia.
I’m hoping we’ll hear something this month about renewals and what’s coming up.
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Preach.
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And funny right out of the gate
Summary
Mega-Synthia calling Girl in Lovers’ Lane a rom-com 
The bots angry with the stars during the blip (I’m just glad they didn’t pick on Ringo)
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And of course, I adore the art, my favorite this month has to be Tormented… if only for the look on Tom Stewart’s face, not tormented by that head so much as puzzled? HaHa!
Hercules Unchained was nice too (well they’re all nice, but I’ve always been partial to Herc). He looks so pleased with himself, but she seems less impressed.
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Favorite Gizmoblips this month: Bots taking “starcrossed lovers” term into riffing on the constellations and “The Hunks of the SOL”!
“Ain’t She a Stinker”
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Well, since I seem to have been struck with one of the gazillion viruses going around atm I might as well settle in to laugh at some unfortunate couples.
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I think all of these would work really well as postcard-sized prints.
That’s the spirit! Bask in the, uh, healing power of someone else’s misery!
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You wanna take in an old Steve Reeves movie?
Hercules Unchained is the one with the… um… the stuff that’s not DEEP HURTING or Jayne Mansfield. All of these blur together a bit for me. The best bit of this one is probably GPC as the Hellenistic ideal.
Synthia and her nimble hands (seriously, is she ever not doing something with them?) are back. I enjoyed the later alligator gag, but I admit to having a weakness for those, and Servo’s ramble about Hercules Unplugged hit home for this early 90s teen. Emily seems like the type who would get really into lovey stuff, but the bots spotted the true horror of the Cupid menace. That’s why I have the place fumigated this time of year. Protect your fleshy weakness, everyone!
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Watching Tormented now. Good Lord but Joel’s calves are huge. Must spend all his time off camera running on the giant hamster wheel.
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I am looking respectfully.
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Oof, Lover’s Lane is a rough one. Good riffs, but it’s mostly straight drama, and with that ending it’s a bit much. It anticipates the modern idea that a main character has to die a horrible, pointless death for a story to be serious. The bots’ alternate endings are much better, but I like mine. Big Stupid and Danny are a better couple and set up for the best ending they can get in the 50s, so ignore them. Instead, Carrie runs off with Michelle from Gold Boots for a happy life without jerks, and they stop to pick up Wanama from Jungle Goddess on the way.
It’s fitting that Mega-Synthia thought this was a rom-com, especially with her idea of a perfect first date (I would have expected fire and chaos), but even she was worn down by the unrelenting bleakness in the end. I enjoyed the subtitle about her sippy cup of tea, and the way she slipped into smooth radio voice at the end there hints that there’s more nuance to our unbalanced clone than we think. The bots angry old man ranting at the stars after hearing about star-crossed lovers feels appropriate, especially for Emily’s bots, and I agree. Who are the stars to interfere with my affairs?
Oh, and like we would ever skip intro on anything in the Gizmoplex!
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Despite it being in my bottom 1% of episodes, I sucked it up and watched the Vault Pick of The Touch of Satan since I first watched it with the rest of Season 9 in 1998. (I considered it “too murdery” for me and shelved it.)
How dare you make me rethink previously held contempt for past episodes! The cheek! The unmitigated gall! Keep it up and I’ll… I’ll… I’ll have to change my tune about more episodes, I guess. Dah!
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These are really good at getting me to revisit episodes I normally wouldn’t. While it’s hasn’t given me any new favorites, it has made me reevaluate a few of them. And then some will always be bad, like Fu Manchu. 
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Keep your Gold Boots filled with breasts!
Wait, that’s not right. Ug, human bodies are so complicated! This episode is my pick for the month, but every time I watch it I feel like I’ve missed something. We go from road movie to sexy (?) dancing (??) to some kind of crime thing, which is fine. Where I get lost is what the icky teleporting elf is actually doing on Earth in the first place. Oh well, it’s still fun.
Pearl again for a great Pearl episode, with Emily for a guest. I hate to say it, but I think the fashion police are right to keep an eye on her. Yikes! The Hunks of the SoL calendar would be a nice thing to see in reality, and will hopefully be joining the merch lineup soon. I’m hoping they put in the railings they put up during Space Mutiny. Yowza! Oh yeah, it’s nice to see maroons making a comeback.
Wait a minute. I’m a human being, why don’t I have a body like that? You know, for weekends.
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Just finished Girl In Gold Boots. After all these years, it’s still grimy, and still makes me miss my pretty mind.
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It’s Hollywood actor Richard Carlson! It’s been a long, rough week, and what better way to relax than a dark tale of vengeance from beyond the grave! Tormented is probably Bert I.'s best film, but it needs the riffing to keep it light. The little girl was the mastermind all along, right?
And who better to join in the torment than Mega-Synthia? There are a lot of good gags in this one, with the coffee-tea fakeout, praising GPC’s largeness, GPC’s rambling about the other bots’ lunch habits, and Mega-Synthia’s general craziness. I love her obsession with other people’s largeness. It’s like she’s a reverse-Reducto from Harvey Birdman. The kissing practice/spin the bottle sketch was simple, but scientifically hilarious (I ran the numbers).
RSVRIP
PS. Tom Stewart killed me.
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Well, that’s it, I died. Again. Man, I’ve conned those Screaming Skull people out of so many coffins over the years! And I completely forgot the Gumby short in this one, so that was a nice surprise. The “scheme” in the movie is a bit silly, though. It relies so much on both of them following the script that it’s clearly some weird, if very boring, bit of role playing. Whatever floats their boat. My wife and I take turns terrifying each other with various skulls, so I get it. Ah, good times.
Back to our hostess with the mostess this time, and it’s interesting that there’s still a bit of a sneer when Synthia introduces Jonah. We get some extra spooooky hand action at the end, and an extra flourish when she flushes them the movie. I will never get tired of Synthia’s hand acting. The discussion about trying to get a crumbling gothic mansion in this economy hits hard, though, since I’m in the middle of trying to find a new one to move into. Ouch! The missed connections sketch was a lot of fun, and even GPC2’s getting in on the Jonah-teasing. She’s definitely a bit more mischievous than GPClassic.
What does she do with the fish, anyway?
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Maybe she donates them to a walnut ranch?
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