Everything I Need to Know I Learned From MST3K

MST3K Central
21
  • I learned Gamera is a friend to children.
  • I learned that Gamera is really neat.
  • I learned that Gamera is filled with turtle meat.
16 Likes
22
  • I learned to always put my faith in Blast Hardcheese.
14 Likes
23

I learned not to do that again.

12 Likes
24

I learned that 90% of successful international espionage is either banked turns or stealing cigarettes from women.

9 Likes
25

I learned thereā€™s a radio station named Frank with more Reba!

10 Likes
26

I learned to use my death ray for peaceful purposes only.

11 Likes
27

I know that falling at a 60 degree angle breaks the laws of physics.

9 Likes
28

I learned that itā€™s fun to be bitten.

6 Likes
29

I learned that whether itā€™s cultists in tank tops, a zombie hanging around an ice cream parlor, or bionic people railing (!!) against mass transit, no cinema satisfies quite like that of Canada.

10 Likes
30

That nothing can stop a swarm of Kennys.

8 Likes
31

I learned where the fish lives.

9 Likes
32

I learned that all I need to have in order to attract a Bigfoot is some rock and roll music and some Coke a Cola!

10 Likes
33

I learned not to smash Trumpy eggs even if I really donā€™t like eggs.

10 Likes
34

If you see a guy in a plane and youā€™re on foot, youā€™re in deep trouble. Especially if thereā€™s any coffee around.

6 Likes
35

You learn it, Iā€™m bitter.

11 Likes
36

And speaking of railing, I learned that you can never place too many safety railings inside your boiler room spaceship.

10 Likes
37

Iā€™ve learned that:

-if you see a sign pointing towards a Valley Lodge, you should just drive outta there

-if you see a ramshackle lodge in the middle of nowhere that could ostensibly be used to imprison enslaved wives and conduct ritual sacrifices by an undead cult leader, you should just drive outta there

-if you see a big-kneed wobbly fella with a hand staff telling you that you should drive outta there, JUMPINā€™ JACK FLASH YOU SHOULD JUST DRIVE YOUR STUPID KEISTER OUTTA THERE NOW NOW NOW

8 Likes
38

I learned that I should never offer someone an apple, lest they should slap it away and demand answers.

10 Likes
39

I learned that itā€™ll be a nice day if it doesnā€™t rain.

8 Likes
40

I learned to shine my love loudly and carry a big purse.

7 Likes