I wonder if it ever even occurred to Arch Bubblehead that Mrs. Whiny could’ve just found a shopping cart and some weaponry and taken off on her own (with the kid) to try and find her way out without waiting on him to buy even half a clue. lol
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The patrolman from Last Clear Chance really needs a mention here, if we can showcase sheer incompetence.
All he does is ruin people’s lunch hours and then render them too suicidal to remember any of his boring-a** lectures.
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TBF, he does snap at the end, portending a John Wick-style sequel where he goes on a shooting rampage against people who ignore train crossing signals.
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If the train doesn’t get you, he will…
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Yeah, if John Wick had no aim. 
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Trains don’t need to aim.
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So he’s shooting at them from a moving train?
Union Pacific has a bigger propaganda budget than I thought.
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How about these fools from “Rocketship X-M”?
They’re all boring, annoying blowhards (non are likeable) aboard a ship that malfunctions, the engines quit and they do incorrect fuel-ratio calculations. The ship careens out of control making them all pass-out…they end up on the wrong planet…half the group get killed on the planet and the rest die going back to Earth, because the fuel was figured wrong. At the end of the film, all the main characters are kaput…from their own hand. They have to be the most incompetent protagonists in movie history! 
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I don’t know, they have some stiff competition from the Dad from Manos: The Hands Of Fate.
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True…but the Dad from Manos at least didnt get he and his family killed. He may come to his senses, get his wife and daughter and escape.
My vote still goes to R-XM…as the BIGGEST blow-its in movie history.
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Cabot and Watney
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I sure hope Dr. Skull from the General Hospital segments is a better doctor than human being.
Some people love to pretend that crap like Twilight and The Room came out of nowhere, but… You know.
Hate that guy SO MUCH. Here’s hoping there’s an episode out there where he got beat up by a kid with one arm in a cast and a bendy straw. He seems like the type who’s used to just bullying everyone easily and thus would fold at even a crumb of opposition from literally any other dude on the planet.
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Charlie, from The Days of Our Years, who was blinded because he interrupted a welder.
The only way he could have been less plausible is if he was going to give the welder an exploding cigar.
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I don’t think he was supposed to be a protagonist. lol
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Marv from High School Big Shot. He’s clearly book smart and ready to get out of his small town where big time mob drug deals go down, assuming he can leave his cripplingly emotional codependent father. Then of all people he falls for the worst human he knows and his answer to it all is to team up with two inept “criminals” who look like they retired from community theater vaudeville.
I think it’s important to remember that “protagonist” doesnt mean “hero” and doesn’t require that we relate to them in any way as sympathetic.
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Robert Miller. Father of Roxy, Giant Unbeliever Turned Believer, and Dad of the Century inside the cave. His intelligence bends to the needs of the moment and he trips over his own bag. He seems at home at the Econo Lodge but nowhere else. He’s uncool, unsupportive, and obvious. Even his voiceover is lifeless. A Hostage Without A Cause.
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Dr. Cal Meachum. Wooden, Smug, Presumptuous, and Somehow The Leader in His Field? He’d rather talk to reporters than get his hands dirty. For a man so smart, he keeps being saved by aliens. He messes around with what he doesn’t understand and then talks down to it. Hopping into strange aircraft only to run away once he meets an alien. When E.T. asks you to take him to your leader, let’s hope it’s not him.
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This is a really good point! I was assuming that The Days of Our Years was like a package film with multiple stories.
If I’m wrong, then there is no protagonist; the preacher is merely a narrator who appears occasionally. (I guess that makes him an implausible protagonist, but that really goes against the theme of the thread.)
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The Reverend read Frank Norris’s The Octopus as a kid and thought that the railroad barons were the heroes. 
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“It’s your fault if you have a heart attack on the job”
POOPIE!
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