Most Baffling Villain Plot in an Experiment

During Halloween I rewatched WEREWOLF and even after all these years I still do not have to foggiest idea what motivates Yuri. He hates. He plots. He schemes. He possibly makes a pass at the security guard just to werewolf-ize him. He hates. He does stuff. Bad stuff.

….I just have no idea WHY or WHAT the hell he hoped to gain. It’s weird.

What notable experiment baddies were you never able to discern the deal of?

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Devil Fish. Create unstoppable fishtopus thing, release unstoppable fistopus thing, have affair with boss’s wife. Profit?

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I Was a Teenage Werewolf. How would regressing humans into an animal state save humanity? While one of the all-time great B-movie lines, Dr. Brandon telling Hugo “And you call yourself a scientist!” is perhaps a touch hypocritical, as there’s nothing scientific going on here.

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Honestly, I don’t know why any villain ever came up with underhanded schemes after the invention of RADAR.

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I would say it’s whatever was supposed to be happening in Castle of Fu Manchu, but I’m still not sure what that was. Or if it could really be considered a plot. Something about freezing the oceans while putting the audience to sleep, I think.

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Teenage Strangler, okay, so he’s not the most villainous character in an experiment, but I still have no idea why Mikey stole that bike.

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If I didn’t understand the villain plot in Mighty Jack, it’s only on account of the simple fact that I didn’t understand anything that happened in that movie.

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Oddly, Mighty Jack and Fu Manchu both involve the same villain plot. Someone has developed a method to permanently freeze water, and the bad guys are going to use it to close major international shipping lanes, crashing the global economy and bringing civilization to its knees until the world surrenders to them.

Mighty Jack is just incoherent because it’s the first and last episodes of a TV series, skipping all the plot development of the middle. Fu Manchu doesn’t really have an excuse. For anything.

Warrior of the Lost World is an odd one. He already runs a post-apocalyptic dictatorship and he finds himself obsessed over a loose group of hippies living nearby. So he kidnaps their leader but doesn’t manage to execute him because the Warrior gets in the way. But he gets the guy’s daughter and brainwashes her except she breaks the programming and shoots him instead. Except that, secretly, it was an android duplicate who got shot, and one of the hippies has been secretly working for him the whole time (which had zero discernible effect on their actions) and now, as he has to flee, with his empire being taken over by hippies and the requisite coalition of post-apocalyptic gangs, he cheerfully declares that it’s all gone exactly to plan?

I know there are other villain plots I’ve found to be worse, but I can’t currently remember what they were.

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I’m just baffled that a death ray invented for peaceful purposes would be manipulated by the bad guys as some sort of weapon!

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  1. Develop Synchron 2 drug
  2. ???
  3. Yes, gentlemen, the victory will indeed be ours.

To this day I don’t think the goal of the “organization” in Secret Agent Super Dragon was ever articulated except to say they were doing something.

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Is the Fat Man (hey, they call him that!) in Overdrawn at the Memory Bank even a bad guy? I mean what does he do? He has a society that stops people from watching old movies and punishes people who watch them by putting their consciousness in an animal for a while. That’s weird, but I wouldn’t call it exactly evil.

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Oh. Wild World of Batwoman. Rat Fink has invented a device that allows him to eavesdrop on anything. He doesn’t actually want to do anything with it. It’s just that eavesdropping on other people’s telephone calls is his kink. So, in order to use the device that he invented and which is stored in his company’s safe, to which only he has access, he… Becomes a super criminal with his own gang, spends several years repeatedly pulling off capers only to have them foiled by Batwoman, uses a drug his evil lackey has developed that makes people dance, and steals the device from himself while personally ensuring that Batwoman is directly involved in protecting the same device.

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No, they did lay out a plot. The drug is, much like iocane power, colorless, odorless, and nearly impossible to detect. Thus, they’ll be able to use their network of spies to drug major world leaders. The drug is so severely addictive that the user will die unless given either regular doses of it or the antidote. The dosed leaders will have no choice but to obey the organization’s commands, allowing them to secretly run a worldwide empire of puppet governments.

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Merlin’s Shop Of Mystical Wonders. We agree Merlin is the villain, right? Kindly old wizard travels into the future to rekindle the spirit of magic and make the world a better place. By giving a jerk a dangerous spellbook that he knows will be misused with potentially fatal consequences, and then allowing a cursed demon monkey to be stolen and go on a killing spree.

Or, no, wait. Is Grandpa Borgnine the villain? Telling this to his grandson as a nice relaxing bedtime story during a blackout?

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What exactly was Bob Evil’s plan?

  1. Buy Time Machine.
  2. World destroyed.
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You say that like it doesn’t happen all the time. Seriously, I’ve done it at least three times myself. Except my kink is-. That’s not important right now.

His name is Bob Evil! He’s just living up to the family name as best he can.

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His plan was to use the time “transport” to alter history and give himself greater power. Unfortunately, the plans for the device leaked, and led to multiple corporations, countries, and others all trying to alter history for their own benefit, leaving the timeline in chaos and a future where the whole world is in perpetual war.

What makes no sense is that anyone was aware the timeline had been altered, let alone a dystopian future where it’s just common knowledge that everyone is constantly changing history in different directions.

But Bob never planned to destroy the world. He just wanted to use this incredibly powerful tool that fell into his lap for personal gain, and figures that, since he has literally all the time in the world, eventually things will work out in his favor.

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I appreciate that all evil Forrester plans to date are as nebulous and dopey as any in the movies.

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The guy in The Brain that Wouldn’t Die: Jan in the Pan does nothing but tell him, “I don’t want this! Let me die! Don’t go out and murder someone and graft my head on their body.”

But he’s all, “Eh, I’m sure she’ll come around. Time to go body-shopping!”

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Okay, so, Madam Estrella from The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies.

I can understand her turning someone who’s spurned her into a zombie.

I can understand her using a zombie to carry out the kind of dirty work that she doesn’t want Ortega to do.

But for the life of me, I don’t understand her keeping a corral of zombies around. That seems very impractical, unsafe, and not at all hygenic.

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