Are Hallmark movies Riff worthy?

Didn’t Rifftrax tackle Casablanca? I agree, every movie can take a little kidding.

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Just chiming in to say the Bridget and Mary Jo MHC and Rue McClanahan …Of the Bride movie riffs, for me, are the funniest Rifftrax output in a while.

I was blown away with how much I enjoyed them.

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WHY DID THEY SHOOT IT LIKE IT IS A COMIC BOOK IT IS A DIFFERENT FORM OF MEDIA. (rage)

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My wife and mother and law LOVE to watch Hallmark movies, especially around the holidays. I typically bring my laptop to watch MST3K to endure the pain. However, one time, when I was supposed to be packing to leave, I was sucked into the latest Hallmark Christmas movie.

Kinda off topic, but I hate to admit, some of those movies, “slap”, as the kids say.

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The receptionist at my office used to have Hallmark movies playing on the lobby TV all day long during Christmas season, with the sound down. I came to realize that those movies have some sort of Christmas decoration… tree, garland, lights, centerpieces… in every shot.

It was actually kind of nice for making the lobby look more Christmasy.

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I do enjoy how in these things every single surface is overdecorated with garlands and lights and baubles and all that. It’s in every room of every house, every street corner and lamp-post, every coffee shop, every bar. Every imaginary Target and Walmart in these imaginary towns is cleaned out because all that stuff is bought and put up. Apparently everyone also has a massive imaginary attic to store all this stuff the rest of the imaginary year.

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What, you didn’t like goth Bruce Wayne?

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“Who are you?”
“I’m Emo Batman. Or whatevs.”

But what I really hated was The Riddler. As if a basement internet troll could kill all these politicians with impunity. Yes, I get that they were referencing the pathetic insurrection, but too soon, and too wrong. Still, I guess these types are DC’s new “base” and they wanted them to feel empowered.

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Frank Gorshin will continue to be the best Riddler.

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Or Cory Michael Smith.

TBH, most of my favorite takes on DC villains are from the Gotham TV series.

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Gotham’s take on the Scarecrow was good, too. Though Cillian Murphy as the Scarecrow works for me as well.

Also a big fan of the voice choices made for the villains in classic animated series. Really, the voice choices for everyone in that.

It was?

I thought it was just more the John Kramer/Se7en/Zodiac vibe that the newer (and by newer I mean since Earth One) riddler’s have, Like the one in Arkham Origins, or maybe Gotham?

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There was probably some of that intent, but the result came across very much of the kind I described, at least to me. But I’m pretty sour on DC movies across the board these days. Apart from the enjoyable Shazam film, everything they’ve done seems to be dark and plodding and joyless. And not in the good Jarmusch way or enlightening Herzog way, either.

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Lego Batman Movie was also pretty good…

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One may be phenomenal IF A.) One truly transcends the tired predictable recipe so as to be riffed on its own merits not Hallmark’s, B.) The show is a Christmas Special, and C.) The pic has character and dimension inherent in itself not commonplace in the Hallmark catalogue.

I mean some of the older episodes had some extremely formulaic 1950s Teensploitation type movies…So I mean maybe if they went for an older style of episode where the host segments didn’t always have to be related to the movie…

Or they could do something loosely related? like if it’s one of the ones about an author who has to go to some small town only to get captured by it’s ‘small town astetic, along with the hunky blue collar worker’s rustic charm’, you could have something about Crow trying to get his big break at screenwriting a Hallmark romcom to try and make conections before he proposes his Requel of Earth vs Soup…

Actually come to think of it, That’s just a good Idea for a host segment in general…)

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CAN you riff Hallmark movies? Yes.

Would my wife kill me if I did it? Yes.

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Related note: it is one of my genuine goals in life to write a screenplay for a cross between a Hallmark and a kaiju movie.

Our heroine is a scientist about to make a big break in her anti-kaiju project, but she’s about to be shown up by the handsome leader of a rival project that she just can’t stand. Or can she? Will she overcome her professional jealousy to let love take its course? Or will she settle for the hunky mech pilot who’s kind of a jerk? Also, giant monsters.

I’m still waiting on the call from the middle sister from Full House. Roll of a lifetime, I tell ya!

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They’re far too sappy and cloying to be riffed.

A no from me.

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