Remaindered from Club MST3K. Add your own. Be as terse or as detailed as you like.
“Every country has a bolster, so its couches can look snazzy…”
“Every country has a mobster, and some loan sharks, and some made guys…”
“Every country has a lobster, from a spaceship, eating townsfolk…”
Every country has a lame spy, who treats women, really badly!
Every fishman has a doctor, who created, abominations!
Every country has a junk drawer, that was started, from a kit.
“Every country has a seedy underbelly, full of hicks and crackers.”
“Hicks and crackers are attacked by monsters, which makes films entertaining!”
Every country has a breakfast that it’s people eat up.
Every country has a breakfast which is waffles in this house.
Every country has a Santo they can call on when trouble appears
And ol’ Santo has Perico, but just why though, sadly nobody knows . . .
Every country has a fat cop who uses baby oil!
Even Malta!
Every country, has a dancer, who says she had a pretty mind
Every country will bow down to Sumuru and her assassins …
Every country has someone who prefers noh theater…
Every bad guy, has a henchman, he calls Torgo (or Tor Johnson)
Every British tragedy, has a rewritten Sir Elton song!
“Every country has a huckster, pitching Buttcoin to the rubes, yeah…”
Every gravity law defying fall…has a 60 degree angle!
In these country river bottoms, there’s a legend that continues.
If you’ve seen the little creature, you’ll know you’re in Boggy Creek!
Every Country has a Committee, that makes regulations
Every Committee has a Country, with red tape they call their own
Every pretty little mind has a stretch mark, from having babies
Every dead guy shot in Texas, falls down the wall twice
Every country loves Lupita, she’s a sweetheart who wants a dolly
She won’t steal one, though she wants to, she asks Santa, oh will he come through?
“Every country has a toaster, warming strudels, or some muffins…”
Every country has a lemur they call Joey, he’s a fun guy,
He’d be perfect as a mascot for your business, won’t you please give him a try?