MST3K filk songs

MST3K Central
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You may recall in the first riff for Pod People, Joel stated, “Pod people got no reason to live.” This alludes to the Randy Newman song “Short People”. So that’s why I’ve written this song:

Pod people got no reason
Pod people got no reason
Pod people got no reason to live
They got hairy hands and bright blue eyes
And they walk around whacking RenFest guys
They got lengthy noses with which they use to eat
They lobotomize anyone they try to greet
Well I don’t want not pod people
Don’t want no pod people
Don’t want no pod people 'round here

Anyone else have an MST3K song in their heart wanting to get out like a chestburster?

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2

Song: “Tequilla”

Lyrics: Giant Gila

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Every Country Has A Monster is a bop!

Also Tom’s Concepts song is a masterpiece :sunglasses:

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Well, we can’t have this topic without mentioning Mystery Science Theater Picture Show.

By The Great Luke Ski. To the tune of Science Fiction Double Feature from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Completely with the Audience Participation Riffs. :slight_smile:

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Jeff and Maya Bonhoff’s Tom Servo needs to be mentioned here…

…and Movies for Nothing…

…and Mock the Turkey.

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Here’s another bit of verse I’ve come up with:

Pumaman, Pumaman
Does whatever a puma can
By his belt he doth rise
That’s the stupid way he flies
Look out, here comes the Pumaman

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He can pretend to die
To fool those guys
Hopefully they don’t see his open eyes
pumaaaaa
he is the puma man

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8

I remember a few filks from the old Brainfood Fanzine. I may transcribe some here if I can find them.

MST3K (to the tune of Surfin’ USA by the Beach Boys)
By Lippert Liz on Prodigy

If everybody had brain waves,
Across the starry void,
Then everybody’d be a MSTIe
From Bots to Humanoids.
You’d see them wearing red jumpsuits
Across the Milky Way
Everybody’s gonna MSTie!
M-S-T-3-K!

(Background chorus repeats “Bite me! It’s Fun Hikeeba!”)

You catch ‘em doin’ the Gamera!
Screaming Movie Sign!
They’d be cruising the starways
And down to Circle Pines!
All over Wisconsin
Down along Broadway
Everybody’s gone MSTie.
M-S-T-3-K!

They’d be riffin on Gallagher
And taking aim at Penn.
Have a french-fried potato!
Feel that Gizmonic Zen!
Hey, anything can happen
During the cutaway
But you gotta be a MSTie…
M-S-T-3-K!

So if you’re into green neon.
Or have friends made of chrome.
If Sandy Frank makes you nauseous.
And Lippert makes you groan.
Or if you like seeing stuffed shirts
Put in their place
Then you are a MSTie!
M-S-T-3-K!
Everybody’s going MSTie!
M-S-T-3-K!

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9

mst3k806album

Hello, FILK.

Didn’t see ya standing there!

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10

If surf music counts as filk, then Jonah did one during Starcrash.

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I have never in my life heard the word filk before. I thought you made a typo. The more I learn about this word, and how it did in fact originate as a typo, the more irrationally enraged I become. :joy: :laughing: :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

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According to fan lore, it was a typo. In a program book for a WorldCon in the 1950s, they listed a ‘filk’ concert rather than a ‘folk’ concert.

Fans being what we are, the word got kept. :smiley:

EDIT: I sit corrected (I don’t stand while at my computer), it was a typo in an essay title (“The Influence of Science Fiction on Modern American Filk Music”) that got adopted. Karen Anderson (wife of writer Poul) is credited with the first documented deliberate use of ‘filk’ to describe the genre, in 1953.

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:notes: “Doctor, My Eyyyes
Tell me this film’s bad
You seem unwiiise
To dismiss riffing as mere fad…”" :notes:

Uh… Sorry. I’ll try to think up something more prestigious and detailed later on.

As for filks ON the show, way back in either Season “0” or 1, there was Joel singing:

:notes: ‘Dem bots dem bots dem dry bots
And heed de’ pan of de’ loaaad…" :notes:

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A-way back in the before times, when the show got cancelled the 1st time (those were the days my friends!), I penned this little ditty with the help of the AOL MSTie group - tune the final verse of American Pie:

I met a man down in Deep 13
And I asked him to please stay green
But he just smiled and turned away
So I went down to the comedy store
Where I’d heard the laughter years before
But the man there said that laughter doesn’t pay
And in the streets the MSTies cried
And sadly clutched their episode guides
It was far too late to riot
The SOL was quiet
And the three beings I admire most
Servo, Crow and your favorite host
They float in space from coast to coast
The day the laughter died

And we were singin’
Bye-bye Mr. Clown in the sky
Tried to kill me with a forklift
Wendell Corey says Hi-
Keeba flyin’ over trout
With Ed Wood in my eye
Singing ‘Bite me!’ til the day that I die

(Although I should point out that, contrary to the episode guide, the ‘Hi-keeba guy’ was Paul Gilbert and not Wendell Corey)

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Apologies to both Joels; Billy and Hodgson.

Joel Hodgson, Crawling Eye, and The Brain that wouldn’t die, Sidehackers, Jungle Goddess,
Stranded in Space.

Ring of Terror, Megalon, Wild Rebels, Batwoman, Gamera and Barugon,
Time of the Apes.

Sumuru, Untamed Youth, Robot Monster, Fu Manchu, Ring of Terror, Troy McGreggor
and the Last Chase.

We didn’t start Deep Hurting
It was always Clayton, since the Mads’ been hatin’.
We didn’t start Deep Hurting
The Bots didn’t like it, and they tried to fight it.

Fugitive Alien, Killer Forklifts and Guiron, Ricochet Barbecue
and Killer Shrews.

Master Ninja, Teenage Caveman, Hercules unchained again, Master Ninja Two,
Indestructible Man.

Gila Monster, Robot Monster, Mad Monster, COILY! Mister B.Natural
can make a boy confused.

We didn’t start Deep Hurting
It was always Clayton, since the Mads’ been hatin’.
We didn’t start Deep Hurting
The Bots didn’t like it, and they tried to fight it.

Digger Smolkan’s greatest hits, Gila Monster, City Limits, Teenagers from Outer Space,
Lobster TORCHA!

Hands of Fate, Rebel Set, now it’s time for go for bed, Eegah, Teenage Strangler,
Outlaw of Gor.

Unearthly and Doctor Z and Yongary and Mac & me, Pyoomaman, Poomaman,
Invaders from the Deep

We didn’t start Deep Hurting
It was always Clayton, since the Mads’ been hatin’.
We didn’t start Deep Hurting
The Bots didn’t like it, and they tried to fight it.

Creeping Terror, Skydivers, coffee drinking murderers, Nipple nipple tweak tweak
fly fly fly!.

Brute Man, Flag on Moon, Laserblast and “sigh” onions, Leech Woman, Mole People,
Thing that couldn’t die.

Ator, Future War, Cushing at the Earth’s Core, Killer Fish, Starcrash,
Earth versus Soup.

We didn’t start Deep Hurting
It was always Clayton, since the Mads’ been hatin’.
We didn’t start Deep Hurting
The Bots didn’t like it, and they tried to fight it.

Clonus Horror, Teenage Werewolf. Where wolf? WAHRWILF! Bobo and the Brain Guy,
Timmy and Pearl.

Coleman Francis, Joe Don Baker and a Catalina Caper, Rowsdower saves us,
Mike destroys a world.

Roswdower saves the world, though Satoris’ lip is curled. Pipper’s voice based on
Yosemite Sam’s.

We didn’t start Deep Hurting
It was always Clayton, since the Mads’ been hatin’.
We didn’t start Deep Hurting
But when we are gone
It will still burn on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on.

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You must remember this/This movie really sucks - Overdrawn at Memory Bank

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17

Another classic Filk from the archives of the Brainfood Zine.

Mr. Robinson
(To the Tune of Simon and Garfunkle’s Mrs. Robinson)
Written by DMoe or El Mystico

Sitting in the satellite on a Sunday afternoon
Getting “Movie Sign” from Deep 13,
Laugh about it, shout about it, no way to refuse
Joel and the bots are born to lose.

Where have you gone, Mr. Robinson?
The MSTies turn their lonely eyes to you.
woo woo woo
What’s that you say, Dr. Forrester
Joel’s in space and he is there to stay.
hey hey hey.

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Not filk as such, but covers of the MST3K theme by famous artists.

Originally written by Pat on the Prodigy forums.

Morrisey: His bosses didn’t like him, nor did the rest of the world. He was glad to be shot into space to spend the rest of eternity by himself.

U2 In the not too distant future,
Next Sunday AD,
The world will have to fight against
The stifling bureaucracy.

Prince Because he used those very special parts
To make his robot friends.
Yes, we all need friends.
All kinds of friends.
To love and hold and feel and need.
Friends. La la la.

James Brown: HAAHH!
Repeat it to yourself! SAY IT!
Hah! Repeat it to yourself!
One more time! Hah!
I should just relax!
HUH! Can’t relax! Gotta relax!!
Say it! HAH!

Ray Charles: We’ll send him cheesy movies.
Uh huh. Tell me what’d I say?
Cheesy movies! That’s right!

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I forgot to mention, words that are all in upper-case require the singer to use a Gilbert Gottfried-style voice.

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He has powers, they’re kind of dumb,
Flies like he drank a keg of rum,
Cannot swing from a web, but call fall three floors and not be dead.
Look out , here comes the pumaman.

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