In reality, I don’t think Mike is ever going to come back, but in my ridiculous MST3K fantasy world, here’s how I would write him back into the show for a guest appearance:
After Season 12, Kinga decided she was onto something with The Gauntlet, but the format needed more tweaking. For Season 13, she introduces “The Wheel!” Each episode, Jonah is forced to spin a giant wheel to determine his fate. There are opportunities for him to escape the SOL on the wheel, but of course those never come up and instead he always lands on the title of the movie for that episode. In ONE episode, though, he lands on “PHONE A FRIEND,” and Kinga suddenly has to make up whatever that means.
KINGA: “OK, OK, you can go free —”
JONAH and the BOTS GASP
KINGA: “— IF you can name the last quarterback to lead the Packers to victory in the Super Bowl.”
MAX: “WHAT? No! Kinga, that’s too easy!”
KINGA: “Oh, come on, look at that lanky schlub; he’s clearly not a sports guy. He’ll never get this.”
JONAH: “Yeah, she’s right. I’m more of a Dungeons and Dragons kind of guy … but hey! We get to phone a friend, right?”
KINGA: “YES! Fine! Whatever. You can phone one person on Earth to help you.”
JONAH: “Of course, I also don’t really know anybody who follows football --”
TOM: “Relax, Jonah. We got this.”
CROW: “We totally know a guy. He’s from Wisconsin, so he’s probably legally required to know this to vote, or something.”
JONAH: “OK, great! Call him up!”
They call up Mike, who shows up on the resurrected Hex field screen.
MIKE: “Ahoy-hoy?”
CROW: “Mike?”
MIKE: “Crow? Tom? Is that you? Where’ve you guys been? You said you were going out to buy cheese balls like 20 years ago!”
TOM: “Yeah, it’s a long story, but obviously we’re back on the SOL now …”
CROW: “And thanks for looking for us, by the way.”
MIKE: “… it was cold out.”
TOM: “Hey, so what have you been doing all these years?”
MIKE: “Well, I’m really into pottery now. Just took this one out of the kiln.”
He holds up an utterly ridiculous misshapen lump.
CROW: “That’s … somehow exactly what I expected.”
JONAH: “Guys! Come on, focus!”
TOM: “Right, right. Mike: Which quarterback led the Green Bay Packers to their most recent Super Bowl win?”
MIKE: “Huh? Uh … I have no idea. I’m not really much of a football guy.”
CROW: “C’mon, Mike! Channel that cheesehead DNA and give us the answer!”
MIKE: “OK, OK, Uhhh … Brett Favre?”
JONAH: “Of course! Thanks … Mike, was it?”
MIKE: “Sure thing. And hey, If you need any help getting off that satellite, I might be able to …”
CROW: “Nah, we’re good!”
He hangs up on Mike.
JONAH: “Wha? Crow!”
TOM: “Jonah, trust us, that guy CANNOT help you get home.”
JONAH: “Well, it doesn’t matter, because now I have the answer. Oh, Kinga!”
So they give her the wrong answer and get a movie somehow even worse than they’ve had up until now.