701. Night of the Blood Beast (1958)

[Dr_Phantom]

The Steves came out fairly well in a question for the ages.

The Legion of Steves vs. the Paul Horde.

I recently watched The Crawling Hand, where yet another guy named Paul had a bit of a monstrosity problem. Please, don’t name your kid Paul. It doesn’t end well, if MST3K movies are any guide, and who doesn’t guide their life by this show? I mean, there’s also Paul who is a warwilf, Electric Paul from The Projected Man, and California Lady Paul from Track of the Moon Beast. I’m not sure what exactly his deal is, but “constantly run into danger” Paul from Cry Wilderness has got to be some kin…

[CLANG_Potroast]

Same. The whole point of Dr. Forrester’s interaction with this version of Pearl is to see another side of him, not to mention how he got to be such a emotional trainwreck. It probably wouldn’t have worked for 3-4 entire seasons, but it’s still funny.

Very fond of Stuffing v. Potatoes, too.

As for the movie itself, it’s hard for me to explain but it makes me genuinely angry, in a way that few other turkeys we’ve ingested do. (Kitten With A Whip would be another.) Part of it is just the absolute limpness and lack of interest from everyone involved. Nobody seems invested. Everyone is just sleepwalking while they think about that paycheck. Also, it’s a really ambitious idea when you get down to it: a supposedly manly guy has to cope with having kids, essentially. But the script can’t even get to a Rabbit Test level of awkward and slightly risque sitcom-isms. Much less offer any insight into why these squarest of square humans would find this more “alien” than the aliens themselves. It just sits there and looks at its watch.

The riffs aren’t bad, though. Gotta’ love, “You marry the whole family” and the stuff related to that. Also, every jab at the obviously heavily-sedated Barbie™ Foe-Toe-Graph-Er is gold.

[FlyingSquid]

Steve?

[BruceLeePullen]

@FlyingSquid

Steve?

“Had to trust somebody not named Steve.”

[BruceLeePullen]

Stuffing vs Potatoes.

Mst3k-Stuffing vs. Potatoes

[BruceLeePullen]

@Dr_Phantom

Oh, I wish I knew what this short was about.

You and me both. It’s as if a Gene Kelly movie and The Donna Reed Show had a baby. Speaking of babies…

[BruceLeePullen]

A History and Review of Night of the Blood Beast (1958).

Night of the Blood Beast (1958) REVIEW - CONQUERING 200 FILMS

[CLANG_Potroast]

Uh, “Love makes our conspicuous consumption grow stronger.”

Or something like that.

Phone It In NOW!

Which short first (or most) inspired you to embrace the magic that is-- The Telephone ?! ?! poll

[Aquarius]

701T or GTFO!

[optiMSTie]

You HAVE to have the Turkey Day bumpers for Night of the Blood Beast.

The episode simply isn’t complete without Pearl’s Turkey Surprise™!

[optiMSTie]

Anywho, love this episode.

The short is so out-and-out bizarre that it’s practically a winner from the get-go. I remember Mike’s official website write-up for the short from the Satellite News website, and his words on the matter echo my feelings about Trace’s riffs over the bespectacled angel guy:

“The memory I will take with me from this whole show is that of Trace in the writing room doing his killer Charles Nelson Reilly whenever the angel in Once Upon a Honeymoon appeared onscreen. If he had done it 4000 times, it wouldn’t have been enough for me.”

https://www.mst3kinfo.com/guide/ep701.html

Granted, the short never gets as absurdly dark as the Union Pacific shorts, but it’s still so damn weird that you have to love what the gang does with it. The “Everybody Was Kung Fu Writing” riff was a hoot, as was: “Here’s how far I’ve gotten: LAAAA.” And then there’s how miserable the songwriter looked, leading to that riff about him pulling his own head off.

AND THEN THERE’S SERVO WITH THE PIANO PLAYING “BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!” RIFF

Just gold all the way around.

[optiMSTie]

As for the movie? It’s thoroughly Corman-ized, and it’s terrific like that.

Just inept and laughable, yet somehow engrossing and absorbing, which is what you want from an MST3K movie. Something that’s terrible, but not repellent.

The Planet of the Steves running gag is sublime, but my favorite thing about the episode is the ventriloquizing of Donna, the somewhat dim-looking space agency technician. A riff that sticks with me?

Donna, referring to a photo: “Here’s something to complicate things even more.”
Crow as Donna: “I took these upside-down!”

Another gold riff from Crow as Donna at some random juncture: “Um, if you’re looking for that one thing, Barb found it!”

Just terrific.

I also love how we saw the monster before in Teenage Caveman. The parrot noises over the monster? Perfecto, as are the riffs about the grumpy old guy: “God, I’m in a funk.”

I don’t have it held up as the best episode of Season 7, but it’s a big part of why Season 7 is one of the series’s strongest.

[BruceLeePullen]

@TheHippy

This episode is also proudly featured as one of my prized signed mini-posters:

That is Mary Jo’s signature in the upper left corner.

Where’d you meet her?

[BruceLeePullen]

@optiMSTie

You HAVE to have the Turkey Day bumpers for Night of the Blood Beast.

The episode simply isn’t complete without Pearl’s Turkey Surprise™!

Seeing 701 both ways. The Thanksgiving 701 rubs me as superior. Why did Comedy Central and Best Brains re-do it? So Blood Beast (1958) wasn’t so holiday-centric?

[Michi]

@BruceLeePullen

“Hard to trust somebody not named Steve.”

[meshuggen8r]

“Donna omitted for clarity.”

As someone who played baritone/euphonium from elementary school through college–and also added tuba along the way–I wince every time Pearl whacks the trombone while Dr. F is playing. Poor, poor Trace. Those mouthpieces are no joke.

I need to reacquaint myself with the Turkey Day host segments. At least Trace doesn’t bleed.

[Satoris720]

Another season 7 classic! It starts with the awesome short! One of the best of the CC era! The feature carries the momentum. Corman always brought out the best in them. The pregnant Crow segment is a favorite of mine. Trace carries the skit. The ending where they keep making the parrot squawk always has me in stitches!

[TheHippy]

I met her, and the entire cast, at a Cinematic Titanic event. We were the last in line, it was late, and Mary Jo was the last to sign for us. Of course she was gracious, but she also looked tired, so it was basically, “Hi, how’ya doin’, bye!”

I got to spend a bit more time with Joel and Frank, but not much. The best part was hanging out in the line with Gruber for a while.

[TheHippy]

@meshuggen8r

I wince every time Pearl whacks the trombone while Dr. F is playing. Poor, poor Trace. Those mouthpieces are no joke.

I played trumpet, and I think we had one of the smallest mouthpieces for brass, the french horn was a bit smaller. But yeah, that could not have felt good, and you can tell Trace is actually trying to play the horn. I was also in marching band, and there is nothing worse than a cold mouthpiece smacking you in the mouth when you step in a pothole.

[HWLNGMAD]

Another really good episode. Not quite a classic, but definitely one to check out when/if one can.