Which experiments would you mix and match to make a better one? We’ve got a magic editing suite here which will not only let you slice and dice the movies, but weave their worlds and stories together as well.
Inspired by a minor derail in the Turkey Day Tournament 2021 thread, I suggest replacing the last half of Touch of Satan with the last half of Squirm to ease the darkness that descends. Maybe all that’s needed to break the dark curse is some high winds, downed power lines and an egg cream.
I’ve long thought that the ideal mate for Squirm is Alien From L.A.. I visualize an action-adventure romp through Fly Creek, as Atlantis sends good-will ambassadors above ground to save their homeland from famine. After many comical misunderstandings, the two groups join forces for a rousing win-win. Many life-saving and delicious worm sandwiches are taken back underground. Fly Creek returns to placid normality and raises many egg creams in grateful homage to their new sister city. They even rename Main St. after Charmin.
I think it should be possible to transpose various parts from the three movies that make up the Coleman Francis Cinematic Universe into one glorious whole, but doing so would probably cause a singularity and extinguish all life in the universe.
Mixing Hobgoblins with Zombie Nightmare seems like a good idea. You have the same promiscuous kids in both movies and McCready seems like he’d get along with the goofy sounding medical examiner. And Adam West would definitely like Club Scum
Yikes, you might be right about the singularity. But what a glorious apocalypse it would be. An endeavor like this would probably warrant some safety measures, like a support group of friends to pull us back from the brink of that much bleak despair in one sitting.
Great idea! These two worlds seem made for each other. It wouldn’t surprise me if Captain West’s office is actually somewhere in the back of Club Scum already.
I propose a similar edit: Zombie Nightmare and Rock N’Roll Nightmare. We could punctuate the zombie tension with ten minutes of John Mikl-Thor “locking up the van.”
Or we could go completely off the rails and mix all three of them. John’s busy locking the Hobgoblins into the van while doofus is trying to get out of it with his hand grenade, and the rest of the Tritonz are “rehearsing” in Club Scum.
I would take my least favorite episode of all time, The Incredibly Strange Creatures and completely replace it with Jack Frost.
Oh, okay if I have to have some of Strange Creatures, um, we’ll cut in scenes of “Shook out of Shape” when the house changes position back and forth, so it looks like it’s dancing. And, before Nastenka and Ivan get married, we’ll include shots of a monkey saying, “Get your tickets here! Get your tickets here!”
And maybe some insert scenes of the foreign guy and Ortega, randomly interacting with the Frost characters. (when Harold asks, “I don’t know Jerry, what do you think”, hell-mom could answer with, “Munch and guzzle!”)
This might be an obvious one, but Women of the Prehistoric Planet as the prequel to Teenage Caveman. Having these two “HEY! IT’S EARTH!” movies together, and all we have to do is have Sinbad pipe up “Women be different than men!”
No limit to how mix-ey/match-ey we can get! Michael and Jan, wow. Michael was a pretty awful husband, but this would definitely take it to a new level. Is his wife just Jan for the drive or Jan-in-the-Pan already?
Michael & Jan & Jackey are driving through Texas when there’s a terrible car crash. Michael grabs Jan’s head in order to save it, but the nearest locale is Valley Lodge. With Torgo’s help, he gets her all pan-i-fied, but there’s a twist, because The Master is really into scalps, so Jan is the hottest thing to him ever.
Meanwhile, Jackey having been thrown from the car finds herself in the lair of a giant turtle who is friend to all the children…
I want a whole bunch of MST3K movies edited in such a manner that Mikey from Teen-Age Strangler inadvertently saves the day.
Like, Mikey bumps his bike into the boulder that trucks Bela Lugosi in Bride of the Monster in one instance, and inexplicably bumps his bike into the helicopter at the end of The Pumaman.
