Favorite “bad” movie no one’s heard of?

I enjoyed SOB, but I think I enjoy Blake Edwards’ movies more than most people do. I liked 10 a lot, and Victor/Victoria is one of my favorte movies.

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Another vote here for Champagne & Bullets, aka Geteven, aka Road to Revenge (multiple titles are like catnip to bad movie fans).
John de Hart is the classic vanity project guy; his character beds the Playboy pinup, tells jokes that everyone finds hilarious, recites Shakespeare, sings like a god and beats up any goon who dares assail him.
De Hart wrote, directed and starred in it. He also wrote and performed all the songs, of which The Shimmy Slide is a long way from being the worst.
Wings Hauser, on the other hand, is either a very talented actor or he really was reeling drunk throughout the whole sorry mess. I do like his scene with the utility bills, though.

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Welcome home, Brother Charles (1975) - I reckon Rudy Ray Moore could have done a comedy version of this deeply weird Blaxploitation flick. The IMDB synopsis as previewed here cuts off just before the two words that give this movie its USP.

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Over-sexed Rugsucker from Mars (1989)

I had to see this, because Mark Kermode said it was the worst movie ever made. He’s wrong, but he’s close. Damned close.

Claymation Martians visit earth to see what has become of their human experiment. The one thing that really annoys them is litter, so they decide to cross-breed humans with vacuum cleaners, to make a species that cleans up after itself. To do this, they induce Vern (a hobo) to copulate with Dusty (sorry, don’t know the make or model).

However, this makes Dusty a sexual predator and when it goes off in search of more victims, Vern is left abandoned and lovelorn.

Our hero Tom, an onanistic voyeur, becomes the target of Dusty’s affections, after the hoover has killed his wife. The object of the hero’s pervy eye is Rena, who is getting sick of her new-age boyfriend’s slack-jawed serenity. Rena dreams of being a rock star, which just gives one of the rotten bands who did the soundtrack a chance to actually appear on-screen.

Then Dusty turns up at Rena’s home, so now she has something in common with Tom, as they have both been molested by a dirty dustbuster. The cops get involved, which means that someone who neither sounds or looks like Humphrey Bogart gets to wheel out his Sam Spade impression. There’s an identity parade, but Dusty’s not one of them and is still on the loose. In fact, while this is happening, Dusty is in the toilet, taking a dump.

Then, just as heartbroken Vern (remember Vern?) is considering chucking himself off a bridge, Dusty comes back to him in the most heartwarming scene of the whole movie. There follows a montage of the two frolicking joyously in the park, on a pedalo, feeding the ducks, watching porn together, etc. Vern discovers that Dusty is male, but realises that true love conquers all.

But the incident with Dusty has got Rena pregnant, which finally jolts her boyfriend out of his nitwit complacency.

There’s a chase on shopping trolleys between Bogus Bogart and Vern, while Dusty beats up the other cop, who is soon wrapped up in hoover-hose like Laocoon and the Serpents, and thrown under a train. Vern hits a lamp post and is captured.

Then Sham Spade has a voice-overed flashback to his wonderful relationship with Veronica (a sheep). Sample dialogue: “Death has a way of bringing us face to face with the bare ass of reality”.

Vern is put on trial for having sexual relations with a household appliance. After giving evidence, Rena gives birth to a mini-hoover with a Cabbage Patch Doll head. In the confusion, her boyfriend is shot dead, while Vern does a runner with the vacu-sapien. He meets up with Dusty and they try to escape.

A SWAT team is called in and surround the house where Vern, Dusty and Babyvac are holed up. Enraged by a gunshot graze to Vern’s head, Dusty charges the waiting marksmen and is fatally riddled with bullets.

But wait! Here come the aliens! The human/hoover hybrid is beamed up into their spaceship, and the future of the new species is secured. Vern walks on the beach for a while, carrying Dusty’s corpse, then just dumps it on the railroad tracks and walks away to kill himself.

Fin.

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Sounds like someone was a member of the First Church of Appliantology.

#IYKYK

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I know I like his later stuff more than most people: Skin Deep and Switch, e.g.

Jonah related having him there at an (charity?) event where they riffed it and at the end he said, “That was very disrespectful. You know, a lot of the people who worked on that film are dead.”

:grimacing:

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Caught this at a little film festival in downtown Atlanta when it came out. Black and White and weird and stilted but we laughed a bunch: “Hurts, donut?”

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I’d forgotten VBT completely until this moment.

I’ll get you for this someday.

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Jimmy Smits.

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I get that a lot.

Best known as King Leia…wait, that’s not right. Princess Leia’s dad. I never quite did get the hang of galactic parliamentary structure.

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Wasn’t he the Vice-Princess?

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[gets out the comfy chair, plus every sheaf of poetry I wrote in High School]

Oh, you’re in for it now…

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Understand Captain America GIF

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Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me, (with big yawning)
As plurdled gabbleblotchits, in midsummer morning
On a lurgid bee,
That mordiously hath blurted out,
Its earted jurtles, grumbling
Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
And living glupules frart and stipulate,
Like jowling meated liverslime,
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me,
With crinkly bindlewurdles,mashurbitries.
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don’t!

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Fiona Apple’s finest work. :saluting_face:

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Get Crazy is on blu ray now

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You were the only one. :frowning:

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Holy crap it is! To the online store!

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I feel like not a lot of people know about Species II:

Honestly one of my favorite bad movies.

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I remember going to an Angels baseball ballgame in Spring break when I was in 11th grade and there was this big blimp flying around advertising Species II. It had no chance against Lost in Space and City of Angels. It was even the first weekend that Titanic was unseated from the top spot. It was the first week of the newly renovated Anaheim stadium and renamed Edison International.

I actually saw Wag the Dog and L.A. Confidential at two discount theaters that week as well. Only the 2nd and 3rd Rs I saw by myself in theaters when I turned 17. Good Will Hunting was the first.

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