Hot Ones, MST3K edition: Which characters can stand the heat?

MST3K Central
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For those not familiar with Hot Ones, it’s a YouTube talk show where host Sean Evans interviews a celebrity as they both eat a plate of ten increasingly spicy chicken wings (or cauliflower wings for vegan/vegetarian guests).

So, I bring that up to ask these hypotheticals: how would the various characters in MST3K (could be in the show or in the featured movies) react and ultimately fare on Hot Ones?

Which characters could survive the onslaught of progressively hotter wings while answering the various interview questions? Which characters would beg for mercy or even tap out before eating all ten wings?

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TV’s Frank would eat all ten wings and drink the sauce.

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TV’s Frank: “What else ya got?”

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Sean: [looks into the camera with amazement as if to say, “You’re all seeing this, right?”]

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Brain Guy would tap out early, confused about why the heat was affecting him even though he has no body.

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Dr. Forrester would be able to as well.

But Mike, Tom, and Crow think that Cowboy Mike’s Red Hot Ricochet Barbecue Sauce is bold, so they wouldn’t be able to take the heat.

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GPC would clearly be unaffected and a delightful guest.

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Speaking of hot ones. I grow and eat ghost peppers for the flavor.

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If Extry Bold is above their pay grade… YOWZA.

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All ten wings down in one bite would make for a quick interview!

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On the movie side, Mikey from Teen-Age Strangler would just look at the bottles of hot sauce and instinctively break into tears.

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Pitch would have no problems. Santa Claus, OTOH… :grimacing:

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As for characters from the movies, the first one that came to mind is Avalanche.

Mia Farrow’s character wouldn’t be able to make it through more than one or two.
Whereas Florence would be: put it in a Bloody Mary if you want me to taste that.

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Hah!

Danny from Time Travelers would HAVE to provide a piano accompaniment through the whole thing.

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If Santa Claus reacted to that devil toy the way that he did, I’d have to think that he’d have a devil of a time (har) with those hotter sauces!

Unless we’re talking the Santa from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. That guy’s a borderline psychopath and probably has an unreal endurance for spicy pain.

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@optiMSTie I think it’s canon that Pitch can only eat hot foods, though. Anything else would be bad for his digestion. But Santa lives on soft ice cream treats.

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Send in all the Masters of Not Acting or Dull Surprise.

So, anyone played by John Agar.
Wanda Sacknussen
Dr. Ted Nelson
Dr. Talbott
That mumbly hypnotist clown whose name isn’t even worth looking up.

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! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Okay, THAT’S boss! :smiley:

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Also, you have to figure that almost every Kaiju could readily win this. Certainly Gamera what with his built-in flames and all…

And I feel like Marfushka from Jack Frost could beat all comers. No one else in that cast would have the stamina, though.

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Zigra the fish monster might have a wee bit of trouble. If he can’t get any water, I could imagine those wings doing quite a number on him.

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Billy from Laserblast would turn green immediately.

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Jimmy Wilson would certainly claim he’s already been on and successfully ate everything no problem. Maybe even write an essay about it!

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