Mystery Science Roleplaying

I created this thread for in person MST3K roleplaying. Pop in when you can and describe your character and what you’re doing here on the Satellite of Love! Make up a class and level for yourself. Whatever. Let’s goof off #pleaseimsoboredatwork


A short, chubby bald guy in a Gizmonics jumpsuit nursing a 5 o’clock shadow steps into the SoL Cafeteria. He’s a level 3 Farter Arounder, and wields a very crumpled and worn copy of The Hobbit in his left hand, and a cup of cold coffee in his right hand (+1 to flatulence). He takes a seat and begins to look around


A panicked, average height, 30+ man in a purple jumpsuit runs through the cafeteria looking down at his wrist watch over and over again. He’s dragging a suitcase that has split open and papers are falling out in a trial behind him. Mutters under my breath ah!!! I missed the meeting! I can’t believe I slept in!


the short guy stands up, his cold coffee splashing on his green jumpsuit
“Hey there fella pal! You’re losing your important papers there from your suitcase!”
He runs over and begins clawing at the papers, scooping them up and crumpling them, frigid coffee going everywhere
“I’m a big fan of sleeping, myself. Not so much for meetings. Oh I’m Jeremy Haley, what’s your name?”
he extends his hand to do a fist bump, the Hobbit twisted, painfully, in his hand


I look around the room frantically not making eye contact searching for someone

Zachary Charles, and they aren’t important papers, just blank sheets…

Oh why didn’t I set my alarm?!?!

I’m oblivious to the fist bump -1 to charisma


I plop down on the bench of the caf tables with my head in my hair groaning

Oh… this was support to be my ticket out of here!!

Starts slapping myself



Whoa, is this fight club? Am I in fight club right now? Are you Tyler Durden? If not you probably shouldn’t hit yourself like that. Though if you are, you get to hook up with that Bonham Carter actress. That’s pretty sweet. Wait what do you mean your ticket out of here? I’ve been trapped on this station ever since I drank too many Schlitzes during that bar crawl in Sheboygan and woke up here covered in cheese curds! That was 2 years or so ago. I don’t know… time passes slowly here. takes a sip of coffee


looks around and whispers keep your voice down!

Look… I know a guy that knows a guy, that knows Jonah, Emily and Joel REALLY well.

He setup a way for me to meet with Tom Servo through a video call in the cafeteria, but I was late and the person who had a suitcase that was supposed to have the device to make the call already came and gone! I was supposed to bring my own suitcase and make a swap, and I blew it!

And yes… looks around again out of here. I’m talking a hidden escape pod on the SOL that would send you to earth! EARTH! realizing I said that loud… stops talking and then proceeds again

Haven’t you ever wanted to go to earth? I sometimes sneak into the Gizmoplex to watch the movies from earth, some people see the movies as punishment from the mads, I consider the test subjects who get into the Gizmoplex lucky! I’ve been assigned to scrap robot parts for the last 10 years, and before that I spent my whole life a board a trash collector traveling this sector collecting trash!

Fight club?! What’s that? Sounds fun!


As you’re both dumbstruck by your own internal monologues, you hear a voice, calling from the distance:

“Spock, help me!”


A short, bearded man, wearing a red Gizmonics jumpsuit, a well worn fedora, and an ancient beat-up pair of sunglasses/goggles with side shades, sits in a storage locker in a far corner of the Simulator of Love.

He’s almost run out of Hamdingers, Sundrop, and water… He’s tried finding any way to connect his gear to any of the simulator systems, but no signal ever gets through.

He finds himself watching the movies every time… They… fascinate him… Is he the experiment? Isn’t the experiment supposed to go to a theater? At least it helps pass the time.

He can’t believe that he’s been stuck here so long. He can’t believe that he let himself, a level 11 Gizmonic IT specialist get trapped at all, but to still be stuck after all this time?

At least the toilet works… Well, he hopes that’s a toilet… As long as it works.

He’s trying to rebuild his sonic screwdriver, that fell and broke yesterday… again.


A 30ish woman with cirles under her eyes and hair in a messy bun wearing a black jumpsuit rushes into the room.
“Please tell me there’s something left to eat! Kinga’s had me locked in the Prescreener of Love for…I don’t even know how long, and I’m starving.”


A 20 year old health and safety inspector wearing a dark blue jumpsuit with a patch saying safety inspector on it. And a ID hanging from his neck connected via a lanyard.

“God that gizmoplex was probably the most unsafe thing I’d ever seen. They even ripped up the papers.”


I look down to see my new friend has fallen asleep. Then I reach into my briefcase, pull out a couple of raisen snails and motion for the new people to come over.

“Caf closed 4 hours ago, but you are welcome to my stash if you are famished! I was planning… a long trip… but that’s not happening anymore.”


What kind of security clearance do you get as a safety inspector?


I try to shake you back awake


Whoa hey sorry! That happens sometimes. I just doze off. Which is weird since I drink so much coffee. Probably why it’s always cold. lifts up head off of coffee and drool stained papers Here’s your papers by the way. Why are they blank?

I mean, I’ve wanted to go back to Earth, I guess. Sheboygan was pretty exciting. I guess. I always wanted to visit this really good Hot Fish shop I heard about in Osseo, but I could never find it. Maybe I shoulda went to the other Osseo. Oh anyways. There’s a Gizmoplex? What’s that? I don’t really wander too far from here and the bathrooms.


Who goes there?

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Thank you so much! I’d probably eat a real snail at this point. I didn’t realize what a mistake it was to mention to Kinga that I loved movies in my job interview.


Oh boy, haven’t heard huh?

The rumor mill is churning that Kinga no longer does her horrible movie experiments on the SOL anymore, it’s expanded to something much bigger, the Gizmoplex! A horrific movie stadium of dreadful movies and shorts!

I however, enjoy the movies myself. I’ve never been to Earth myself, but I have been extremely interested in what I have seen sneaking in to a matinee… did you know on earth there are munchies in boxes that can deliver pizzas right to you for free!!!

I’m trying to get off this trash heap and find the fastest ride down to earth to see it all myself!


I’m really jealous. She saw how much I enjoy movies and found it repulsive to consider me as a test subject!

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