Hahahaha! Well played.
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I actually remember my parents taking me to Santa Claus: The Movie as a kid (I must have been four). I don’t remember much else about the movie, though (again, I was four).
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Other than John Lithgow’s way, way over the top performance as the villain, I always forget everything about Santa Claus the movie immediately after watching it. 
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In case folks were curious about the Anastasia movie that I highlighted earlier…
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Wouldn’t have known about those were it not for Cinema Snob.
Just because it’s become a meme and famous for how bad it is, the Tommy Wiseau of Christmas horror sequels…
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I saw this in theaters in 5th grade. Sorry to my estranged dad for seeing this with me. They can’t all be classics like Scrooged, Christmas Vacation and Home Alone.
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The funny thing about that is that “Silent Night, Deadly Night 2” was just a way to wrap minimal new footage around the mishandled “Silent Night, Deadly Night”, and took a lot of heat for being a cheap repackaging of the original (which was true, the guy who had obtained the rights didn’t want to make new footage at all). In retrospect, however, the over-the-top acting in the new footage is what makes the whole thing worth watching, and the old footage doesn’t fare as well.
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That sounds a lot like The Parent Trap, but Christmas.
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Oh hey, it even has Leslie Nielsen…
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Not the only Xmas movie of 1991 with that Rex Manning fan.
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I remember the sadly departed B-Notes website writing quite a detailed… ode to 1984’s Don’t Open Till Christmas. I’ve never watched it, but somehow I feel that someone on this board probably did.
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[relocated to the correct thread] D’oh!!
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Yeah, the Karate Christmas Miracle. Some even want Rifftrax to do this. It’s on Youtube and Tubi.
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So last night I started watching what I expected to a fairly decent movie, and hoo boy. Thing made no sense whatsoever.
An old lady’s nephew is trying to get her declared incompetent, and the judge says she can win the case if her three adopted sons show up for Christmas Eve (No, it didn’t make any sense in context, either). One’s a bankrupt playboy who leaves town due to bad checks, one’s a gangster who also fights Nazis and the third is a hard drinkin’ cowboy who gets conned into helping a female cop try to break up a black market adoption racket.
Aaaand - that’s the point at which I gave up. I’m assuming that the boys all show up to save mom from an asylum, but by then I was so darn confused I didn’t care anymore.
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I’ll watch it now and tell you what happens.
Stand by…
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May I suggest Santa Claus from I think 1985?
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I got the sense from the beginning that it wasn’t that she would prove she’s competent by her sons arriving, but that she would gladly turn over her affairs to any of them, just not her nephew. All three show up, and… nothing is said about who will manage her money.
As for details…
The Cowboy kidnaps three babies and takes them to the old woman’s home. He tells the judge that he came to New York to adopt them. The investigator shows up and he tries to gaslight her but then everything’s okay once she knows the babies are safe, so I guess they’re getting married now?
The Playboy shows up and says he’s engaged, which is a surprise to the woman he is engaged to. He also says he investigated the nephew’s foreign businesses, and found they are fraudulant. The old woman says she’s known the whole time.
The Gangster shows up, and is caught by the police. But the cop doesn’t arrest him immediately so that the family reunion can take place. The Gangster also tells the nephew he’s going to jail on account of the phony businesses (which he was involved with). The nephew leaves.
The judge is all like “hey yeah, you have a family of wonderful people” and leaves. The old woman is like “I have a family of criminals. Let’s have dinner.”
The three stories are so ridiculous and unconnected to the holiday, that I’m declaring now that if this movie is allowed to be called “Christmas Eve” then nobody, I mean NOBODY, is allowed to say that “Die Hard” is not a Christmas film.
This was also remade in 1986, starring Loretta Young. I started to watch that but gave up way early. Anyone is invited to watch it for me and continue this thread.
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Thank you! You’re a stronger person than I am.
The whole thing was just so ridiculous, I’m not even sure MST3K could make sense out of this hash.
But that’s where the fun is, isn’t it?
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I’ve always felt a kinship with Frank Conniff, who was the one who actually watched all the movies that came in. Willing to sift through all the really bad in order to find the right kind of bad.
That said, I don’t think this movie would make for a good Christmas episode, mostly because Christmas is so tangential to the plot, even unnecessary. As funny as it is to have a not-Christmas Christmas movie, from a broader view you don’t want that as your “event” episode. You need a weird mashup, like Santa Claus + martians, or Santa Claus + Satan, or Santa Claus + greedy landlord, or Santa Claus + dragon.
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Or an Ice Cream Bunny (which in itself makes no sense) 
And no, I’m not advocating for Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. I couldn’t get through it when RiffTrax did it.
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