Your phone’s getting a bit cheeky there.
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I tell people about my new game “what’s he pretending?”
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I’m worried about some buddy action comedy with two voices from Look Who’s Talking Too debuting in 5th place at the box office.
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“This is cause for concern, Frank.”
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The return of Bruno!
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I feel deep pangs of regret whenever I fail to see Squanto: A Warrior’s Tale on a day off.
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When someone wrongly says that an actor is in a movie, I always tell them it’s Tony Franciosa.
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Well, I can tell you who it’s not…
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I only eat at the Twist & Crème.
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“Now, in Canada… the whole thing’s switched around.”
Ancillary riffer, but… sshhh. Just go with it.
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I sing to my cat
There’s a cat on the couch
And she thinks she’s a cat
'cause she is
'cause she is
'cause she is
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Thepyumaymen!
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I always check the tenperature outside before I leave the house.
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Instead of “Sweet” or “Rad” now things are “Preeetty nice.”
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When your mind immediately goes to “Mom, my nuts?” when you see this:
Also, “it’s a full batch of savings at M’nards!”
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I work in a place where you have to be careful around forklifts.
I cannot hear or read the word “forklift” without adding “OLE!” to it.
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Yes, that too, but the first M’Nard I think of is
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I did the same, except we were driving IN the giant spider.
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At work, I gave myself permission to tell a coworker named Lupe, “No, Lupita! No!”
Touching the elbow of a welder.
No! Lupita.
(That is not true: while her name is Lupe, and we get along fine. I do not call her Lupita, and she never does anything requiring correction, since I onboarded her when she was hired and she treats me with the love and respect due to a man who has Shirley Bassey’s music blaring out of his car at all moments. It’s like Three Days of the Condor in here, trust no one).
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“
Diamonds are forever, forever, forever…”
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