A comment by @wyswysia over in Riffed! (a total ripoff of Framed) makes me curious: What’s the worst line of dialogue from a movie riffed on MST3K? I agree with her: it’s tough to do worse than “After all now, what’s childbirth? Just a sexy bellyache.” from The Bubble.
What else you got, MSTies?
There’s another cringe line from The Bubble that I hated when I first saw it (pre-MST) and then when the episode premiered I had forgotten the exact line but knew something bad was coming. I’m not going to go through the trouble of finding it, but it also dealt with pregnancy. Something along the lines of “you should have thought about that sooner” or “well, too late now.”
There are many contenders, but…
That line’s not ringing a bell with me. I must have blocked it out.
I tried, but there’s just not that many edibles in the whole world, it turns out. [sigh]
The sexy bellyache is hard to beat, and that’s in a movie that is nothing but worst lines of dialogue.
“This is where the fish lives” gets my vote.
That line in the original post definitely sticks in my craw, but I know there are others that elicit a straight-up “Booooo!” from the host and bots. I just can’t recall any of them at the moment…
One such line is in The Home Economics Story short, where the narrator said that a home economics education prepared the student for that most important job: being Mrs. Johnson.
I’m sure John Agar said a lot of them.
People love to compain about stodgy, pork-filled German Hamlet, but John Agar wasn’t in it so the complainers should count their blessings.
“You’re nothing but a dumb Indian!” out of Paul* from Cry Wilderness deserves a shout-out here, particularly since he’s never called out on saying it.
I know there’s plenty of aged-like-milk dialogue in these movies along the same lines, but that’s the first example I thought of.
* BANG!
[casually tosses the script for Hobgoblins into the mix and screams “RUN AWAY!”]
Hamlet’s just gone up in my estimation.
I’m trying to remember the line about spanking from Project Moonbase without looking it up.
You’re not tricking me into looking it up. NO SIR.
Oof. I do recall that one.
(Bobo voice)
AAAAAAA!
(/Bobo voice)
Oh, and how about Atlantic Rim? …The entire movie, sure, but I’d give the blue ribbon to “I hooked up with all my older brother’s girlfriends!”
This delightful exchange from Giant Spider Invasion:
“I oughta put you over my knee, pull down your britches, and spank the hell outta you!”
“Oh! I always wondered why you used to spank me so much! You could get your jollies!”
Related:
Some jerk sees Tammy’s profile pic (Fugitive Alien I ?) and says, “And this little darling must be your morale officer!” or similar.
Oink oink oink oink!!!
Y’know what else? The legendary (or notorious?) line about “Playing Dixieland Jazz” (Killer Shrews) is a major level of b.s. because “Dixieland” was always shorthand for jazz played by/for old white guys. A Black jazzman wouldn’t have used it, I bet. Except maybe sarcastically. Every time I hear that I wanna’ punch someone.