Create your MST 3k "Dream Season"

My dream season would be one where everybody connected to MST3K were to come back.

Maybe Kinga and Max are experimenting with a dimension portal or something and find parallel versions of Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV’s Frank that are still alive who join forces to get revenge on Jonah, Emily, Joel and Mike, along with their respective versions of the bots.

Pearl could show up with Observer and Prof. Bobo who add their own evil to the proceedings. Every episode could have a different host and bots, and maybe even they could bring in other parallel versions of the characters such as the mirror universe versions of Mike, Frank and Dr. F so we could have the MADS riffing sometimes too.

I’d wanna see all the bots interacting together; most likely all the Toms would be pals while all the Crows would fight and be paranoid about which of them is the real one.

4 Likes

4 Likes

OK, how about Buffy the Vampire Slayer from 1992, since the TV show is hitting a big anniversary?
I have a version: bit.ly/MSTBuffy

1 Like
  1. Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (It’s a rare B&W film that is widescreen).

  2. The Peanut Butter Solution (I know they’ve commented that rights are the issue here. I still want it).

  3. The Giant Claw

  4. One of the Reb Brown Captain America movies

  5. The Doll Squad

6 Samson and the Seven Miracles of the World (This and Doll Squad were Cinematic Titanic riffs that never got official releases. I’m not proposing reusing the scripts, but hopefully Joel, Mary Jo and Josh could write on these two as “spiritual” CT releases)

7 Blind Fury (Rutger Hauer in a loose remake of Zatoichi The Blind Swordsman)

8-9 Something from blaxploitation and martial arts. I feel like these are underrepresented genres in MST3K. Sure, there were the Master Ninja films, but they were hardly martial arts movies. Rifftrax has done well with these two genres, I’d like to see them get a showing in “the big show.”

10-12 Something from Cannon/Golan-Globus. So many cheesy movies. One of the Breakin’ films would be fun. Superman IV would be awesome. And, of course, a Lou Ferrigno Hercules film would be excellent.

13 Return to Frogtown. This one is a bit personal, since for a time my uncle wanted to work behind the scenes in movies. He had a job on Return to Frogtown and decided to go into construction.

5 Likes

Okay, here goes. I’m not gonna take time to explain every single one. If you know, you know.

  1. The Concorde: Airport '79 (1979)
  2. The Silver Chalice (1954)
  3. Ashanti (1979)
  4. Raid on Rommel (1971)
  5. Killer Force (1975)
  6. Invasion USA (1985)
  7. Force 10 from Navarone (1978)
  8. The Junkman (1982)
  9. Matilda (1978)
  10. The Swarm (1978)
  11. Circle of Iron (1978)
  12. Batman & Robin (1997)
  13. A Country Christmas (2013)
    I’m not sure how I ended up with so much stuff from the 70’s. I guess it was just a really cheesy decade.
2 Likes

Oh, yeah. Cheesy, sleazy, seventiezy.

Nice list, tho’.

5 Likes

And the shag…don’t forget the shag.

6 Likes

Thanks!

4 Likes

Decided to finally put together one of these lists. For a little extra challenge I’m trying to avoid well known B-movies and films that have already been given the Rifftrax treatment.

  1. The Lost Continent (1968)

The crew of a stranded steamer ship find themselves besieged by killer seaweed, sea monsters, and the descendent of conquistadors in one of Hammer’s Silliest films.

  1. Strays (1991)

Kathleen Quinlan and Timothy Busfield are besieged by feral, evil cats who don’t seem to be particularly motivated to act scary.

  1. The New Barbarians AKA Warriors of the Wasteland (1983)

The third film in Enzo G. Castellari’s post apocalyptic trilogy that includes 1999: The Bronx Warriors and Escape 2000 (AKA Attack the Bronx.) Two mercenaries must rescue a caravan from a violent gang who drive around in weaponized golf carts.

  1. Invisible Child (1999)

What genre of ridiculous cheesy movie has MST3K yet to touch? Why the Lifetime Original Movie. Rita Wilson is a delusional woman who has an imaginary child and Victor Garber is her husband who just sort decides to go along with it. Mae Whitman is a British nanny who gets roped into this madness.

  1. Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night (1987)

My choice for MST3K’s first animated film. A surprisingly heavy cast (James Earl Jones, Ed Asnery, Don Knotts) star in a sequel the to public domain fairy tale that surely has nothing to do with the Popular Disney version that had recently come out on VHS at this time.

  1. Live Wire (1992)

Future James Bond Pierce Brosnan plays an explosives expert who has to save Washington DC from a criminal mastermind who has developed a diabolical weapon BOMB WATER! Oh and there’s 100% serious scene where Brosnan has to deal with an exploding clown.

  1. Red Planet Mars (1952)

Peter Graves and Andrea King are a husband and wife scientist team who receive broadcasts from a utopian society on Mars attracting the attention of the U.S. and Soviet Governments. You might think you know where this is going BUT… it goes somewhere and not in your usual Cold War propaganda direction.

  1. The Last Dinosaur (1977)

Dinosaurs! Hollow Earth Theory! Richard Boone! Rankin-Bass and Toho collaborate on this bizzaro sci-fi film about a crust old billionaire who really, really wants to shoot himself a T-Rex.

  1. Revenge of the Red Baron (1995)

A pre-Spider-Man Tobey Maguire and 1939’s top box office draw Mickey Rooney square off against a murderous puppet in a direct-to-video horror film that was marketed as a family adventure film

  1. Space Amoeba AKA Yog, Monster From Space (1971)

Aliens inhabit a satilite which crashes on an island and begins mutating the creatures into kaiju in this nutty Ishiro Honda joint.

  1. Assault on Devil’s Island AKA Shadow Warriors (1997)

Hulk Hogan in a very unconvincing hair piece teams up with Carl “Apollo Creed” Weathers to take on a drug-lord.

  1. Arena (1989)

It’s ROCKY… IN SPACE! An Empire Pictures Production!

13.Hercules (1983)

From the director of StarCrash comes this ridiculous sword and sandal movie starring TV’s Incredible Hulk Lou Ferrigno and Sybil Danning.

6 Likes

Aside from the one with Hulk Hogan - I just don’t think I could watch ninety seconds of Hulk Hogan let alone ninety minutes - I love this list. It’s a really nice mix of genres and decades.

I can’t remember if I had The Last Dinosaur on my dream season. I think that I did, but, if not, I really should have included it.

2 Likes

Arena is one of my Most Wanted.

2 Likes

I’ve seen some “I don’t know why they didn’t do that one” posts. Well, the answer is simple. They did what they were given. In the CC era, Frank would go through boxes of VHS tapes supplied by the channel and pick out movies. Sometimes if they picked a particular one, they had to do several others they weren’t fond of. Mary Jo would take over these responsibilities in the Sci-Fi era.
They never had any kind of budget or carte blanche to suggest or pick films.
Now, the interesting part is today. I have no idea how they go about getting the films now. Is it a similar approach, where they still have to take a few they don’t want to get the ones they do? Or do they actively seek out affordable, yet riffable movies?

2 Likes

RiffTrax has done this one.

Warriors of the Wasteland | RiffTrax

1 Like

Oooh I somehow missed that one I guess I’ll have to find an alternate.

Twin Sitters (1994)
Starring vehicle for twin body-builders Peter & David Paul that attempts to blend the fish out of water comedy of Kindergarten Cop with the slapstick of Home Alone only to wind up being downright surreal and shockingly violent. One time James Bond George Lazenby shows up as the bad guy and seems to have no idea he’s in a comedy.

1 Like

well that just describes cats doesn’t it?

3 Likes
  1. Iron Warrior
  2. Birdemic: Shock and Terror
  3. The Amazing Bulk
  4. The Wizard
  5. Gamera: Super Monster
  6. Rollergator
  7. The Garbage Pail Kids Movie
  8. Jurassic Shark
  9. Invasion of the Star Creatures
  10. Munchie Strikes Back
  11. Birdemic 2: The Resurrection
  12. Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare
  13. Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny
  14. Yor: The Hunter from the Future
3 Likes

My dream season would be all movies I’ve never heard of that have that special WTF quality. And all be older than say, 1975-ish.

4 Likes

I want to try to do an entire 13 episode run of movies broken up into a few posts.

I want to list these as films that I not only think would be great for MST3K, but may also be realistic enough for the crew to actually attain.

Here are the first six in no particular order, only because I honestly need more time to think of the rest:


  1. Mazes & Monsters (1982) - a young Tom Hanks appears to take LARPing waaayyyy too seriously.
  1. Gamera vs. Viras (1968) - let’s end the original run of Gameras with…well, the only classic Gamera left that isn’t a clip show.
  1. Voyage of the Rock Aliens (1984) - a truly bizarre film that may have been made on another planet. Warning: contains copious amounts of “Are We Not Devo? We Are Men”, alongside arguably the most badass performance of Jermaine Jackson and Pia Zadora’s careers.
  1. Munchie Strikes Back (1994) - My first pick will be Munchies if the rights are able to be attained. If not, there’s always…oh, God, no…hide Jonah!
  1. Treasure of the Ninja (1987) - This movie may have to be edited for violence and language. That being said, William Lee is the real deal, an awesome microbudget filmmaker. This shot-on-video, DIY martial arts film has some admittedly awesome fight choreography. Even though there’s quite a bit of rough edges, it’s a lot more ambitious than its budget would suggest.
  1. The Lilac Ball (a.k.a. “Annobin Wap” to fans of Found Footage Fest) (1988) - Unfortunately, I don’t know if an English dub of this movie exists. Its dreamlike/nightmarish qualities and surprisingly awesome production design are right up there with the Russo-Finnish shows in the original run.

(strong language ahead, but I love this fan mashup video from “VCR Party Live” so much that I will gladly promote it every chance I get):


Whew, so those are the first six. I’m going to have to put a bit more thought into this. I’ll be back with the final seven once I do more research.

3 Likes

Most (all?) of those are Rifftrax films. Is your “dream season” really just MST3K redoing Rifftrax moves?

No thanks. I don’t have a problem with the occasional cross over/repeat, but not a season that is just things that the other group already did.

2 Likes

No.

1 Like