Most restaurants are narrowing their menus due to supply chain problems and fluctuating demand. But let’s buck that trend and expand the menu for
S.o.l’s Deli — the First Deli in Space.
The current menu offerings are:
The Miles O’ Beef — A chunk of red meat, low in fat
The Mr. B Natural Diet Plate
Split Pia Zadora Soup
The Vince Van Patty Melt
The Sid Tuna Melton — with Monkey Boy fries
The Manos, Ham of Fate Reuben — with eXtRa ZeStY sEcReT sAuCE
The Joe Don Baker Baked Potato
Merritt Stone Wheat Crackers
The Monty Cristo Markham — deep fried and then forgotten
So what new menu item based on an MST3k experiment — film, character, actor, or director — would you like to see added to S.o.l.'s menu?
The first two that come to my mind are:
The Richard Kiel-basa — Way too big for one person
Mac and Cheez — Made with a cheaper knockoff of real cheese. Your kids won’t know the difference
…Gonna grab a quick bite as I skipped lunch. Anyone want anything while I’m there?
Killer Smoked WhiteFish Salad?
There’s always the classic Hamburger Sandwich with French Fried Potatoes.
Or for Vegans, try the Ceasar Salad with Catlina Capers.
For those on the paleo diet, try our King Dinosaur Legs served with tub full of clarified butter.
There was a thread on a similar subject before, to which I submitted the following.
The Crawling Pie
Rocket Salad USA
First Spaetzle on Venus
Time of the Grapes
The Amazing Colossal Manchego
Mighty Monterey Jack
War of the Colossal Beef
Santa Claus conquers the Marshmallows
Master Ginger I & II
Attack of the Giant Lychees
Manos: The Hands of Feta
Secret Agent Soup Dragon
The Magic Pottage of Sinbad
Teenage Creme brulee
Village of the Chiantis
The Creeping Terrine
Kitten with a Whipped Cream
High School Jello Shot
Red Wine Cuba
Deathstalker & the Warriors from Taco Bell
The Peach Woman
I was a Teenage Werewaffle
Riding with Death by Chocolate
Prince of Spice
The Deadly Beets
The Touch of Seitan
Queso of the Delta Knights
Girl in Cold Soups
Blood Pudding of Dr Z
Lamb Rack of the Moon Beast
The Thyme Travellers
At the Apple’s Core
Lords of the Deep Pan Pizza
Tor’s Endless Smorgasbord!
…and two hard-boiled Barugon eggs.
REUBENS ARE NOT MADE WITH HAM!
The Million Pies of Sumuru
(okay, four, maybe five pies, tops)
The Incredibly Strange Crab Salad that Stopped Being Watery and Became a Mixed-Up Sandwich
Arch Oboler’s Bubble Tea. A free theory with every order!
With the “Shick Outta Shake” for dessert.
I believe you mean H.G. Wells’ The Shake of Things to Come.
Don’t forget that you can Bert I. Gordon-ize any meal for an extra 99 cents!
You mean I can have it Amazing Colossal-sized?
And a glass of fresh lemonade, complete with a handkerchief to drape over your head.
Reminds me of when I went to a place that was advertising itself as an authentic deli, ordered a Reuben, and they asked me if I wanted corned beef or turkey.
I said again, nicely, that I’d like to please have a Reuben and had to explain, in a friendly way and trying not to sound condescending, that meant I wanted corned beef (or possibly pastrami if they had it.)
In the end, it wasn’t very good.
I have a similar gripe with the monstrosity that is “turkey bacon”. If it comes from a turkey, it’s not bacon.