I have tampered in God’s domain.
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I don’t call them comic books; I call them GRAPHIC NOVELS.
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I lost all of my money investing in Lemon Mines
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I lost all of my money investing in lemon orchards. Damned old people kept stealing the lemons.
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My other laptop is named Lemminkäinen.
(This one is named Peter Lemongello, 
but that’s really not important to the story. )
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I want to rewrite an Elton John song every time there’s a tragedy in England.
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I never ask for substitutions at IHOP out of fear that Ilya Muromets would flip out about it.
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I never just watch movies quietly, I’m constantly riffing them. All of them. Even the ones I like.
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Me too! High five! 
I also get irrationally excited when I spot someone in a '50s movie or short putting their knee up.
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Fridays at 7:00 PM Central are very special to me.
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… won’t you?
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When confronted with a fraught statement, I declare, “That means fish prices will go up!”
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I retort with that lovable chestnut: “You know you want me baby!”
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(barfing sounds)
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When I got done signing for my mortgage, I asked my lawyer…
“Can I… keep the pen?!”
He laughed and gave me a handful of pens with his name on them.
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“Now you’ll never know which one was the historical mortgage signing pen! muahahahaha!”
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I pledge allegiance to the flag of the Satellite of Love.
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I don’t mind a romantic assignation near a lighthouse. Nor one with a piano genius. BUT… never both these things at the same time. [clears throat] I like being alive too much.
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