So what have we seen along the road so far? We’ve had RADAR, bats, Creatures, Viking Women AND Sea Serpents, and of course, ninjas, because who doesn’t need those? How about something new, better, different, special? Could I perhaps interest you in a… dog? What if she’s quite clever and charming and she’s the star of the picture? How about that? It’s The Painted Hills!
Well then, join us while Lassie paints th- wait, I’m being handed a piece of paper. Sorry, join us while Lassie, as Shep, paints the hil- wait, another piece of paper. Oh, I see. Lassie doesn’t paint anything? Really, are you sur- OK, OK, fine. Join us while no dogs paint anything, but a kindly old prospector goes-a-prospectin’, and they bond, overcome challenges, and maybe, just maybe, even learn somethin’. Oh, and there was a kid too. But mostly Lassie. Did I get it all this time? *
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Can I interest you in a short? How about some Body Care and Grooming, you bunch of filthy animals! That’s right, take a bath or something. I wasn’t paying attention, but I’m sure it says that. Conform! You’ll thank us later.
So one last thing. We didn’t file the right paperwork on time, so we don’t technically have permission to use the theater. Or the keys. Or the movie. So that makes this a 100% UNSANCTIONED, COMPLETELY UNOFFICIAL watch party! If Kinga gets wind of this, we’ll all be scrubbing Kingachrome residue out of canisters for a month. Seriously, one sticky inch of theater carpet and we all regret it.
As this is a classic MST3K episode, it should be available to everyone. You can either watch your own copy or stream the episode for free at the Gizmoplex VHX site:
In the theater, the crew watches as Lassie avenges her master’s murder in an 1870s gold-mining town in “The Painted Hills” (1951). In the meantime, on the SOL, Crow is melted down into an ingot by Servo, but it turns out he’s not actually made of gold. This episode features the short “Body Care and Grooming.”
So update your shots for Grizzled Old Prospector Syndrome, pack your Snausages™, and don’t tell anybody I bawled. But do join us at 8PM EDT sharp. (But don’t worry, join in anytime by advancing to the current point. For example, if you tune in at 8:26 EDT, advance to 26 minutes.)
Remember, the Gizmoplex Virtual Theater is still closed due to a – shuffles papers – Missing Identicube situation? …So be sure to meet us in the secret bunker (aka the VHX website)!
* There’s also a funeral for a hat, but that happens offscreen. You’ll figure it out.
